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Wolf Frankula

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Member since: Fri Jun 4, 2010, 11:02 PM
Number of posts: 3,027

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There Will be a Third Season of Broadchurch w/a Not Spoiler

And David Tennant will be back.

And this is the not spoiler. Sharon Bishop has to leave the case because of a family emergency. She is replaced by an elderly fattish man, with thinning hair. He wears a somewhat yellowed horsehair peruke, and has a trace of cigar ash on his waistcoat. Before he can introduce himself Counsel for the Prosecution says, "In the view of developments, the Crown does not feel that justice would be served by the continuation of this trial. We request dismissal of all charges."

"The defense has no objection," the new defense barrister says as he rises and bows. "Then may my client be discharged?"

"Yes, Mister Rumpole," the judge says.

This does not happen.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Fri Apr 10, 2015, 02:17 PM (1 replies)

Impossible Movie Mashup: Clockwork Orange/Tommy

And Alex and the droogs get to be the good guys. It's the scene where Cousin Kevin is torturing Tommy. Kevin feels a cold draft as the door is opened. He hears Alex's lilting voice say,

"Well, well, welly, well WELL! If it isn't my old droog, Kevin. How art thou, thou vonny grazhny bratchny?"

Poor old Dim, who was really dim, goes over to Kevin and picks him up by the throat. He says, "You've been cruel to Tommy. He is my friend. I don't like people who are cruel to my friends."

Kevin platches as the droogs beat the cal out of him.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Apr 4, 2015, 03:12 PM (0 replies)

Tomorrow I am Going to be 60

I made some informal resolutions to keep when I am old. Now that I will be 60 (that seemed old when I made these) I look back and think I have kept (more or less) them. Here they are, with some illuminative stories

1: I will not regard everybody younger than me as put on this planet to be my servant. This annoyed me when I was younger, and I resolved not to do it. I haven't and don't.

2: I will not say 'When I was your age' and follow it with how much better I was than the person I'm talking to. In those days we answered 'When I was your age' with 'When you were my age people walked on four legs.'

3: I will speak respectfully to younger people so long as they speak respectfully to me. I remember once going into a restaurant when I was 19 to get a coffee and a bowl of soup. I had filed my copy and was taking time before a city council meeting. An elderly woman fixed me with a glare and said "Young man!" in a stern voice. I ignored her, I didn't know her and had no idea why she would be addressing me. She snapped "Young Man!" again. I looked up from my soup and she snapped "I have a dirty fork!"
I shrugged. I didn't work there, It wasn't my problem. I said, "It's not my concern." Before I finish what she was saying, she snapped "You're very rude, boy. I'm going to call the manager." She did, the manager explained I did not work there. She should stop bothering the other customers. She snorted at me and stalked out.

Since then when I approach somebody younger it's 'Mister, Sir, Ma'am, Mizz' never "young man, young lady, boy, girl, kid, sonny boy' or something disrespectful like that.

4: I will not blather on about how music, people, movies, theater, food, and so on were better when I was younger. These are matters of taste. And It was not easier to get a job. I had the oil shock, stagflation and the Reagan Depression to deal with. I had a job during the first two, but constantly worried about losing it. And beer is much better now.

5: I will not say stupid things like 'I'm older and wiser.' Robert Heinlein was right when he had Lazarus Long say, "Age does not bring wisdom. Often it merely changes simple stupidity into arrogant conceit. "

6: I will not make stupid threats. Especially I will not threaten to whip, spank, tan the hide, warm the bottom or other battery of someone younger. I remember hearing a friend's aunt say, 'You're not too big to spank, boy.' to him. He responded, 'And neither are you, and you'll find that out if you try it." You do not threaten to spank a paratrooper in the US Army.

7: I will not whine about my ailments. Actually I'm very healthy for my age. Active physical jobs, not smoking, and fighting with the rapier and tweehander have kept me so.

8: I will not fool myself into thinking very young women especially desire me.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Jan 10, 2015, 03:39 PM (27 replies)

A New Years Resolution.

Thanx to the Late H. Allen Smith.

WHEREAS, today is slotted into that never-never region in which dwell men
and women who should have known better last night, and
WHEREAS, such men and women are undeserving of either consoling words or any
contrived refuge from the pain of remorse, and
WHEREAS, medical science has developed no antidote for the desolation
wrought by self-indulgence, and
WHEREAS, only the passage of time can repair suffered through conformity
with idiotic custom, and
WHEREAS, men and women of character and intelligence and the grace that
comes with maturity observed the blending of two mathematical segments of
time with neither wonder nor emotion and so witnessed the flame of the
rising sun with the great joy of good health and consciences unsoiled, then,
BE IT RESOLVED, that such men and women as described in paragraphs 1 and 2
of the Preamble hereto and properly living in misery and disgrace and
seemingly in the shadow of death, be accorded from such men and women as
described in the Preamble glowing with vigor snd sublimely free of sin, no
words but these


Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Jan 1, 2015, 03:36 AM (1 replies)

Braveheart the Cat Died This Morning

He had suffered a series of strokes, caused by his high blood pressure. This morning he crossed the Rainbow Bridge. He is survived by his sister, Wicca, and his best buddy Bowtie, and his two twolegs. He will be much missed.

If you would honor him, care for cats.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Dec 25, 2014, 11:49 AM (44 replies)

1: Gone With the Wind

Scarlett O'Hara was a self absorbed, empty headed shit. When Clark Gable said he didn't give a damn, I said 'I never did, why did you?'

2: The junnery twins, Little Big Nose and Plays With Camera. Aka Little Big Man and Dances with Wolves. In the first, every character is a cliche even the horses. My girl friend and I left the theater when the movie implied rape is funny. I fell asleep in the second watching Kevin Cost play with himself.

3: Any Elvis movie after Jailhouse Rock. Elvis plays Elvis, he sings, gets in a clumsy fist fight and gets the girl. If you've seen one, you've seen them all.

4,5: Surviving and 'Night Mother. Ain't Teen Suicide Romantic? I'm glad Heathers put a stop to the whole trend.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Dec 6, 2014, 03:58 PM (1 replies)

How Old Cary Grant?


Posted by Wolf Frankula | Fri Dec 5, 2014, 02:46 PM (5 replies)

I Read It So You Don't Have To

I have an interest in the subject of past Southern Africa, So I read The Battle For Rhodesia by Douglas Reed. published in 1967. You can get this through Amazon, but if you are wise and really want it, go to archive.org and get it for nothing. The first half of the book is calm, laying out Rhodesia's case. But in the second half, he babbles about Illuminati, WAPWAG, and a sinister Communist, liberal, One World Government, Rockefeller, Carnegie Foundation, American, British, United Nations conspiracy against poor little Rhodesia. That nonsense brings the first half of the book into doubt, and proclaims Reed to be a kook. In the afterword, he engages in an imbecile conspiracy theory involving Edward Stanton and practically the entire Republican party in the Lincoln Assassination.

He doesn't involve the Jews in these conspiracy, but I'm told he was a believer in the International Jewish conspiracy.

Now you don't have to waste your time on the book.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Nov 26, 2014, 02:02 PM (3 replies)

Here's How It Ends, By Edgar Allan Poe's Cat

The End of the Raven
by Edgar Allan Poe's Cat

On a night quite unenchanting,
when the rain was downward slanting,
I awakened to the ranting
of the man I catch mice for.

Tipsy and a bit unshaven,
in a tone I found quite craven,
Poe was talking to a Raven perched
above the chamber door.

"Raven's very tasty," thought I,
as I tiptoed o'er the floor,
"There is nothing I like more".

Soft upon the rug I treaded,
calm and careful as I headed
Towards his roost atop that dreaded
bust of Pallas I deplore.

While the bard and birdie chattered,
I made sure that nothing clattered,
Creaked, or snapped, or fell, or shattered,
as I crossed the corridor;

For his house is crammed with trinkets,
curios and weird decor -
Bric-a-brac and junk galore.

Still the Raven never fluttered,
standing stock-still as he uttered,
In a voice that shrieked and sputtered,
his two cents' worth - "Nevermore."

While this dirge the birdbrain kept up,
oh, so silently I crept up,
Then I crouched and quickly leapt up,
pouncing on the feathered bore.

Soon he was a heap of plumage,
and a little blood and gore-
Only this and not much more.

"Oooo!" my pickled poet cried out,
"Pussycat, it's time I dried out!
Never sat I in my hideout
talking to a bird before.

How I've wallowed in self-pity,
while my gallant, valiant kitty
Put and end to that damned ditty" -
then I heard him start to snore.

Back atop the door I clambered,
eyed that statue I abhor,
Jumped - and smashed it on the floor.

- "The End of the Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe's Cat
(from Henry Beard's, _POETRY_FOR_CATS_, copyright 1994)


Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Oct 18, 2014, 06:19 PM (3 replies)

Law Enforcement Is Getting Out of Hand, Not Crime

I am a nearly sixty year old male Euro-American and in the last six weeks and by local police I have been: Stopped while fumbling with keys and accused of breaking into my own house, Stopped while walking through my own neighborhood and asked what I was doing there, Stopped and accused of stealing my own car, Stopped while driving through a different neighborhood and asked what I was doing there, Stopped in the parking lot of the place I work and asked what I was doing there, Questioned while waiting for a bus, Questioned when getting off a bus.

Obviously the local peelers are fighting fire with fire, they're trying to stop crime with more crime.

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sun Aug 17, 2014, 11:25 PM (1 replies)
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