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Wolf Frankula

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Member since: Fri Jun 4, 2010, 11:02 PM
Number of posts: 3,041

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Do You Have the Slurp Patrol in Your Neighborhood?

Sunday is Easter. But Sunday also has a full moon. And you know what that means, Werebunnies!
[link:http://|

But in our neighborhood we don't have to worry about werebunnies, zombies, weretrumps or other strange beasties. We have the Slurp Patrol [link:http://|

They case them away. But also they chase down pussy cats and slurp them from nose to tail. And staying inside won't keep you safe. They'll come in through the doggie door. Don't have a doggie door? They bring the doggie door with them. So you cat people, check the outside of your house for the sticker that says, 'Put doggie door here.'

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Tue Mar 27, 2018, 06:34 PM (1 replies)

I haven't seen a Robin

But I saw my first Batman



Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Feb 21, 2018, 02:03 AM (0 replies)

Thank you for the heart

whoever your are.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Feb 10, 2018, 12:59 AM (0 replies)

Has everybody done their Super Sunday things?

You know, put up the goal posts, sent out your Super Sunday cards, bought your Super Sunday presents, shopped for Super Sunday dinner, taken the kids to see Howard Cosell?

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Fri Feb 2, 2018, 09:29 PM (13 replies)

Memorable Last Lines from Books. Identify?

"Why it might even come in the middle of a sentence and I'd."

"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."

"Pernando walked from the helipad. Behind him the red, white and green flapped in the wind."

"Maybe, in only a thousand years."

"Done this day Aprilius 16, in the year of our Lord One Thousand One Hundred and Seventy, being the hundredth year of the English Peoples' Republic."

"The message consisted of.. well it mostly said the word 'darling'."

"Perhaps he would take up Scrabble."

Wolf

Anyone else have any?
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Jan 31, 2018, 06:19 PM (18 replies)

Real Performers, Nonexistent songs.

Johnny Cash: Fire From the Sky

Donovan Leitch: Erainilorna

Mighty Sparrow: No Compromise

Meredith Brooks: Bamas

Bob Dylan: I'm a Jew Again

The Concordia College Choir: Forward, Forward Dear New Kaapland

Keith Moon: Goose Goose Duck

Ice-T: Crack Crack, Munny Munny

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sat Jan 27, 2018, 02:56 PM (1 replies)

Seen at Lunch Today. Another term for the tRump

At a local pub for lunch. They had the toob on and the Rump came on talking. Somebody (not me) thumbed the toob and said in a Cartman voice, "Screw that, I'm going home. Talking poop is where I draw the line.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Thu Jan 25, 2018, 06:48 PM (0 replies)

Two replacements for 'Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Mo'

There are reasons for not using 'eenie, meenie, miney, mo, but it is still needed. Here are two replacements.

1: Eenie meenie chili beanie.
Stooges like a wet sardiney.
Moe and Larry, Curly, Shemp.
Last one in gets all the hemp.

And

2: Eenie meenie chili beanie.
Stooges like a wet sardiney.
Moe and Larry, Curly, Joe.
Last one in's the first to go.

Wolf

Posted by Wolf Frankula | Sun Jan 21, 2018, 03:14 PM (2 replies)

I need a collective noun

for a group of NIMBYs. I mean like a flourish of strumpets, a parliament of owls, a turd of tRumps, and so on.

Anybody have suggestions?

Thank you.

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Wed Jan 17, 2018, 05:41 PM (23 replies)

Since Christmas Song Season is almost over, Here are Some

Good King Stephen

"Good King Stephen looked outside,
On the Feast of Wenzel.
Slapped his pocket and exclaimed,
'I have lost my pencil!'

While a lackey standing near
A window drew a stencil.
And a rooster crowed quite loud,
Sitting on a fencil hmmm.

Then King Stephen went outdoors,
Into the night so cru-el.
And he saw a poor man there,
Gath'ring winter fu-el.

He said 'That I'm still up north,
I feel like a foo-el.
If I were in Cape Town now,
I'd be by the poo-el hmmm."

Do You See What I See?

Said the night wind to the little lamb,
Do you see what I see?
Way up in the sky silly sheep,
Do you see what I see?
A star, a star dancing in the night, with a tail as big as a kite, (What's a kite), with a tail as big as a kite.

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,
Do you hear what I hear?
Bellowing like a poxy goat.
Do you hear what I hear?
A song, a song sounding o'er the trees,
with a voice as big as the seas, with a voice as big as the seas.

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king,
'I just heard a sheep talk.
I know you won't believe a thing.
But I just heard a sheep talk.
A sheep, a sheep, a wooly little sheep. Won't you please call my analyst.
I think I'm cracking up.

Said the mighty king to the little lamb.
'You'd taste good well roasted.'
And so they ate the little lamb.
And he was good well roasted.
With mint sauce and a fine rose wine
O what a feast that was.
I wish I'd been there.

[Some have the custom of shouting BILLY RAM BAM! every time the word lamb is sung, but that's not part of the song and you shouldn't do it.]

I Hate Snow!

Oh, the weather outside's disgusting,
My water pipes are busting.
In my basement the waters flow,
I hate snow! I hate snow! I hate snow!

The cold weather has me wheezing,
My hands and feet are freezing,
And I want the whole world to know,
I hate snow! I hate snow! I hate snow!

I hate going out in the storm,
So my suitcase I am packing.
My tickets are in my hand.
I'm going where it is warm.

To make like snow's a failure.
So I'm off to south Australia.
And I'll bask in the sun's warm glow,
Far from snow, far from snow, far from snow.

Flying to a Summer Wonderland

Sleigh bells ring, I'm not listening.
On the road, Ice is glistening,
I gave up the fight, I'm leaving tonight,
Flying to a summer wonderland.

Gone away is the swallow,
And quite soon I will follow.
My bags are all packed, my money is sacked
Flying to a summer wonderland.

On the beaches we will have a barbie,
As the sun tans our skins to gold.
We'll have shrimp and salad at the Barbie,
And the beer will be the only thing that's cold.

Later on by the fire,
We will plot and conspire.
and find us a way, that we can both stay.
Staying in a summer wonderland

Wolf
Posted by Wolf Frankula | Mon Dec 25, 2017, 03:17 PM (1 replies)
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