December 27, 2016

Don't Forget Good King Stephen

"Good King Stephen looked outside,
On the Feast of Wenzel.
Slapped his pocket and exclaimed,
'I have lost my pencil!'

While a lackey standing near
A window drew a stencil.
And a rooster crowed quite loud,
Sitting on a fencil hmmm.

Then King Stephen went outdoors,
Into the night so cru-el.
And he saw a poor man there,
Gath'ring winter fu-el.

He said 'That I'm still up north,
I feel like a foo-el.
If I were in Cape Town now,
I'd be by the poo-el hmmm."

Wolf

December 17, 2016

The Partisan

By Leonard Cohen.

My favorite versions are by Joan Baez

And by Leslie Fish with somebody named Garcia Aritzmendi. I heard that at an SCA event, they sang the English parts together, the bit that is usually in French or Greek, was sung by Aritzmendi in Euskara.

A song called IIRC 'N Kommando Gesang by somebody I forget. It's about a small farmer fighting with the Boer Commandos against the British.

I remember these bits.

"The cold queen of England wants gold and bright diamonds,
She's sending her redcoats to plunder and kill.
She'll find that dear bought are the gems of the Transvaal,
Where Boer commandos haunt every hill."

"My wife and three children were caught by the English.
Behind the barbed wire they sickened and died.
But soon we sweep down like a fire from the highveld,
And burn the death camps with the English inside."

"I sleep with a Mauser and rise before cockcrow,
And go on commando my neighbors and me.
We'll live as we can and we'll fight as we're able,
Till England's defeated and the Transvaal is free."

Wolf

November 29, 2016

Christmas Items I Will NOT be Watching This Year

1: Any version of 'A Christmas Carol' that doesn't have Doctor Who.

2: Any version of 'It's a Wonderful Life' without Al Bundy.

3: Any Bing Crosby movie without Bob Hope. Sorry Bing, without Bob there's no hope.

4: Anything with Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, including 'Rudolph's Big Career Move.'

5: Anything with Frosty the Snowman, including "Frosty's Frozen Hell.'

6: Any Nativity story that isn't about the guy born in the manger down the street from the one people sing about each year.

7: Any movie where anybody says, "It isn't Christmas without snow."

Wolf

October 8, 2016

Any Other Filk Fans Here?

I am a filk fan. I enjoy singing filk music (though I must say I don't sing very well, until after a few pints.) I like gathering in filk circles and listening to others. Some champion filkers are Tom Smith, Julia Ecklar, Frank Hayes and Leslie Fish. I have even written a few filk songs, though they are NOT famous.

Wolf

August 20, 2016

Are these quotes genuine?

I've been using some for years, but now I suspect they are not. Some are political, some not.

George H. W. Bush on Pat Robertson. "Yes Jesus told him to run for President, but Jesus forgot to tell anybody to vote for him."

Ronald Reagan on making movies. "Never make a movie with an animal. If it's a hit, the animal gets the credit. If it's a flop, you get the blame."

Richard Nixon on Ronald Reagan running for Governor. "The only reason they're running Reagan is they couldn't get the monkey."

Ben Stein on Richard Nixon. "He's guilty as hell."

Wolf

June 26, 2016

Three Nevers

1: Never eat in any restaurant where the words 'ALL LOTTERY GAMES' are in bigger print than the type of food served.

2: Never buy anything advertised on the radio where the fast talk goes on longer than the slow talk.

3: Never trust anybody who repeatedly breaks his/her promises to a kid. They'll cheat you if they can.

Wolf

May 10, 2016

Does anybody else remember these classic commercial lines?

"If you think it's butter, but it's snot, it's Chiffon."

"Hot Kids, Armour Hot Kids, The Kids Dogs Love to Bite."

"Half the fun of being goosed is Red Feet Shoes."

"P-i-m-p-l-e-s, Nestle makes the very best, Acne."

Wolf

May 1, 2016

Naughty Little Suckathumb

The long red legged scissor man
Ah, said Mom, I'd knew he'd come,
To Naughty Little Suckathumb..

The Long Red Legged Scissor Man ran into Suckathumb's bedroom. There he saw Naughty Little Suckathumb lying on his bed with Rags the Dog.

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip Snip went the scissors.

The Long Red Legged Scissor Man waved the scissors. Naughty Little Suckathumb reached beside his bed and replied.
"This is an AK-47 select fire riffle firing a 7.62x39 full metal jacketed round from a 30 round magazine. I have locked and loaded."

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.

"Stick out your thumbs!" cried the Scissor Man.
"No!" shouted Naughty Little Suckathumb.
'Snip, Snip!' went the scissors.
'Brrrrp' went the AK-47 blowing the Long Red Legged Scissor Man Base over apex. Then Suckathumb leaped up from the bed, took his K-bar and cut off the Long Red Legged Scissor Man's left ear, to verify the kill. Then he and Rags the Dog dragged the carcass to the sitting room. Naughty Little Suckathumb said.

"Here's the last shithead who criticized my habits. Does anybody else have an objection?"

He scratched Rags the Dog, sucked his thumb and went back to his bedroom.

Wolf

March 27, 2016

Greatest FU Songs of All Time

What are the greatest Fuck You songs of all time. Here is No. 1. "This Song" by George Harrison

No. 2 Like a Rolling Stone by Bob Dylan



What are yours?

Wolf