Do you have a favorite "walks into a bar" joke?

My favorite was one Robin Williams told:



A rabbi walks into a bar with a frog on his shoulder.

The bartender says:
"Where'd you get him?"

The frog answers:
"Brooklyn, there's hundreds of 'em!"

Post a line from a song & see if anyone knows the song without using Google - Part 21

1) "Don't you ever kiss me once, kiss me twice" (answered)

2) "Everyone was there just a waitin' for me, there were plenty of Sting Rays and XKEs"

3) "Gonna' find her" (answered)

4) "She's a melody in search of the words 'I love you'..She's a rose with nowhere to grow"

5) "You'll be scratchin' like a hound, the minute you start to mess around" (answered)

6) "When a hotel room's the closest thing to home, you could be in Philadelphia, you could even be in Rome"

7) "She's so emancipated in her mind and her body, She's gonna' have to cancel all her lessons in karate"

8) "End over end, neither left nor to right" (answered)

9) "One man buys a nickel sack, Another buys a Cadillac..They both think they will drive their fears away"

10) "I'm a paranoid, schizoid product of the 20th century"

11) "I've been smokin' dope, snortin' coke, tryin' to write a song"

12) "If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself"

13) "Well the road to Acapulco is very hard indeed..And it isn't any better if you haven't any weed"




More Lyrics From Part 20:
https://democraticunderground.com/10181432037

Post a line from a movie & see if anyone knows the movie without using Google - Part 36

1) "Excuse me, are you the Judean People's Front?" (answered)

2) "I want my cake, Bedelia" (answered)

3) "You'll always be 'Shorty' to me!"

4) "Is this your homework, Larry?" (answered)

5) "Yeah, I'm a good fucking Marine..that's why they gave me this detail!"

6) "Are you fucking with me?" (answered)

7) "Whoever has the money has the power!"

8) "Shut the fuck up, Donnie!" (answered)

9) "Am I dead?..I must be dead because no one's talking to me"

10) "What did one shepherd say to the other shepherd?..Let's get the flock out of here!"

11) "Thank YOU, Mr. Acavano!"

12) "You know, he don't have a straight angle in that whole goddamn porch, or the whole house for that matter!"

13) "If I smelled as bad as you, I wouldn't live near people"

14) "I told you..Lexus doesn't make a convertible"

15) "Vagiclean, huh?..What's the matter, honey, little extra cheese on the taco?"

16) "Shut up and eat your shiksa!"

17) "I didn't travel 600 miles for the amusement of morons!"

18) "I never pictured 'God' with a fat gut and a corset singing 'My Way' at Caesar's Palace!"

19) "Pay no attention to the man in the trunk!"

20) "Is that a bra you're wearing, or are you expecting an assassination attempt?" (answered)

21) "Thanks, Reverend Roy, you've been a real pain in the ass!"

22) "The last man in that safe who didn't work here, Daddy shot in his tracks!"

23) "Have you ever read the bible, Pete?"

24) "How I know this?..I look like psychic to you?"

25) "Well that's some monkey house in there!"

26) "Mike, I've been kidnapped!"

27) "I look in your eyes and all I see is fear"

28) "We can't travel in that shit heap!"

29) "Call 9 fucking 111..Call 9 fucking 111..Call 9 fucking 111"

30) "You can't outrun a Motorola!"

31) "You know my motto, give me PU$$Y or give me death!"

32) "I don't deserve Haagen-Dazs"

33) "We've been screwing for 21 hours now..stop!"

34) "He has a system for eating pancakes..He has a system for everything!"

35) (banging microphone with her hand) "Is this fucking thing on?"

36) "Hey, what kind of joint is this, man?" (answered)

37) "He was masturbating!..He was masturbating!..He was masturbating!"









More Movie Lines From Part 35
https://democraticunderground.com/10181430044

Post the birth name of someone famous & see if anyone knows their name W/O using Google-Part 3

1) Graham Anthony Barnes

2) Walter Clarence Taylor

3) John Anthony Genzale

4) Katherine Wilhelmine Blamauer

5) David Adkins

6) Charles John Holt lll

7) Virginia Katherine McMath

8) Martin Jerel Buchwald

9) Lester Alvin Burnett

10) Chaim Witz (answered)

11) Mark Sinclair (answered)

12) Eleanor Gow

13) Ronald Clyde Crosby

14) John Symon Asher Bruce (answered)

15) James Alfred Wright

16) Shelton Jackson Lee

17) Charles Weedon Westover

18) William Bruce Rose Jr









More Birth Names From Part 2
https://democraticunderground.com/10181434535

Post the address of a famous place & see if anyone knows what the place is W/O using Google-Part 3

1) 881 Seventh Avenue, New York, NY

2) 12,000 Santa Susana Pass Road, Chatsworth, CA (answered)

3) 1619 Broadway, New York, NY

4) 3001 Connecticut Avenue NW, Washington, D.C.

5) 222 W. 23rd Street, New York, NY

6) 354 Horizon Way, Pacifica, CA

7) 200 Taylor Avenue North, Seattle, WA. (Space Needle..answered)

8) 24 Willie Mays Plaza, San Francisco, CA (answered)

9) 1630 Revello Drive, Sunnydale, CA

10) 9114 South Central Avenue, Los Angeles, CA (answered)

11) 119 North Weatherly, Minneapolis, MN. (answered)

12) 233 South Wacker Drive, Chicago, Illinois (answered)

13) 6925 Hollywood Blvd., Los Angeles, CA

14) 68 South Street, Freehold, New Jersey

15) 698 Sycamore Road, San Pueblo, CA

16) 328 Chauncey Street, Brooklyn, New York

17) 122 Lyon Street, San Francisco, CA

18) 2001 Gayley Road, Berkeley, CA

19) 1020 Palm Drive, Cocoa Beach, Florida (answered)







More addresses from Part 2:
https://democraticunderground.com/10181434274

Post a line from a Christmas song and see if anyone knows the name of the song W/O using Google

Post a line from a TV show & see if anyone knows the show without using Google - Part 37

1) "I'm calling YOU ugly!..I could push your face in some dough and make gorilla cookies!"

2) "Say my name!" (answered)

3) "Can it core a apple?" (answered)

4) "I watched Jane die!"

5) "Tell him in Puerto Rican 'Goat-o, get out of house-o'." (answered)

6) "Am I truly nothing? Could the neighborhood children be right?"

7) "He Marvin Gayed his own nephew!"

8) "I got a tattoo of Moses parting the Red Sea on my bottom...Wanna' see it?"

9) "Why do we have to sit so close to the kitchen..is it because we're black?"

10) "You have a grating voice"

11) "ELVIS IS CHARGING!!!"

12) "Aren't you the old man who got me fired from the Java Hut?"

13) "Who died and made YOU T-Bone Walker?"

14) "Let's go buy a boat!"

15) "Anybody touches my liquor'll get cut!"

16) "Is there any way the package could have survived?"

17) ""Heck no, we won't go!"

18) "I often sit in the dark..I find it sharpens my other senses"

19) "Schmock! Schmock!" (answered)









More TV lines from Part 36:
https://democraticunderground.com/10181428882

Know any good Christmas jokes?

Q) What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

A) "Do you smell carrots?"

"There's Another Santa Claus" by Bob Rivers

Do you have a favorite Christmas movie? (POLL)

(If your favorite Christmas movie isn't one of the poll choices, post it's name in a reply and it will be listed in "More Poll Options" (Reply #1)