June 27, 2013

What happened to the jumptheshark website?

I haven't been there in several years but it appears to have been bought and suppressed by TV Guide!

Have the contents been archived anywhere because it's even blocked in the wayback machine ("because of robots.txt&quot

What a letdown...

June 26, 2013

Blimey, who knew?!

I had NO idea penguins even KEPT a history of the world...

June 25, 2013

Things I don't get / like

Reality TV
Facebook
Twitter
Tablets
Zombies
Superheroes
Las Vegas
Justin Bieber
iPhones
Remakes
Windows 8
Hyperforeignisms like rolling every R and trying to pronounce foreign placenames the way the natives say them, but yet not daring to pronounce the capital of France Paree for fear of coming off pretentious
Curling
Hyper-puffed up lips injected with collagen
The franchise model of US professional sports
Harry Potter
TV shows/movies in which tiny 5 foot nothing girls savagely beat the crap out of big muscled hard men
Boutiques with twee names like Ye Olde Countrie Gifte Shoppe
Short-track speedskating
Boutiques with playful but wrong foreign-sounding names like Das Gifthaus which really means The Poison House
White Bread
Cricket
Porsches with automatic transmission
Cars with small 4 cylinder engines with automatic transmissions
Truck Nutz
Casinos
Child Beauty Contests
American Idol
Toddlers on tricycles wearing kneepads, elbowpads and huge helmets
Goatees Vaginas with teeth. 'Nuff said.
Right turn green arrows for cars simultaneous with green lights for pedestrians going straight
25 mph speed limits on roads wide and straight enough to land a 747 on
Boring safety-first playground equipment that no self-respecting child would use like that stupid chicken on a spring.
Pedestrian underpasses that smell of piss.
Starbucks
Star Wars
Star Trek
People in sleeping bag queues in front of Apple stores overnight
Synchronised Swimming
Using the letter u for the pronoun 'you', or even worse, u r for 'you are'. Blech!
Excessive facial piercings that make it look as though I could tear your ear or nose off like a perforated postage stamp
Advertising
Boombox Cars
Marketing Speak,
Knock knock jokes
Rap Music
Gomer Pyle The first one to say "suPRIZE suPRIZE suPRIZE" gets it right in the kisser.
Yoghurt
Video Game Consoles
Country Music
Religion
Overbred, yipy little dogs that do nothing but tremble and shit all day
The word "traveling" when spelled with a single L so that it looks like it should be pronounced traVEALing. When did that happen? My old books still say "traveller" or "travelling" with two L's. It happened when I wasn't looking.
Budweiser
Florida
Raw carrots served as though they were an acceptable form of snackfood, What am I, the village idiot munching on a raw carrot?
Adam Sandler
The Simpsons
Seinfeld
People who actually say LOL in real life
Belgians

This is, of course, not an exhaustive list and doesn't include the things we all hate around here (e.g. Republicans, sexism etc.), but I'm throwing it out in order to find like-minded people so that we can form a movement so that these things may be suppressed.

Feel free to add to this list, but should you add something I do like or if you disagree with any of the above, I will, of course, hate you forever and you can't be part of my movement.

June 6, 2013

The Omega Man

I was just talking to a friend about the movie the Omega Man with Charlton Heston. If you haven't seen it, a plague apparently kills off virtually all of humanity, but our hero is immune to its effects and appears to be the last human left on earth. My friend was saying how horrifiying he thought the opening minutes of that movie were with Charlton Heston moving around in a completely empty city, using whatever car he needed, walking into movie theatres, and taking what he needed from department stores.

I think I first realised I was a loner when I saw those opening scenes and had a very different reaction. I was thinking...

"You lucky bastard..."

"You lucky, lucky bastard..."

It seemed like heaven to me, though no doubt the horrors of so much solitude would have eventually got to me. Oh, and the zombies.



Anyone else share this experience? I suppose I could say this applies to the Will Smith remake as well, but I thought that one was rather forgettable as a film.