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kairos12's Journal
kairos12's Journal
November 26, 2022

A guy says to his buddy

you know last night a pile of books fell on my head.

His buddy says, "you ought to sue someone."

He replies, "nah, I have only my shelf to blame."

November 26, 2022

Once two brothers, who very progressive in their politics, were visiting a cousin

in a very red, MAGA state. They decided to go off on their own to fish.

After fishing for a while the local MAGA sheriff showed up. Seeing this, one brother took off in a full sprint. The sheriff gave chase over hill and dale. Finally, the brother stopped and showed the sheriff his local fishing license.

The sheriff, huffing and puffing, exclaimed, "if you had this license all along why did you run?"

The brother replied, "I had a license, but my brother didn't."

November 26, 2022

One day a gorilla was walking along and spotted, nearby, a lion sleeping.

This lion was known to bully all the local animals and the gorilla decided it was time for a little payback.

The gorilla spots a pile of elephant dung nearby and decides what he is going to do. He scoops up the dung and smashes it into the sleeping lion's face. The gorilla takes off laughing while hearing the outraged roars of the lion.

As the gorilla hears the lion chasing him he arrives at a safari camp and looks for a place to hide. He spots a tent and hides in it. In there he spots a pith helmet and puts it on and sticks a pipe in his mouth. He also snaps open a newspaper and puts it up to his face.

Almost immediately the lion runs and into the tent and asks, "hey, you seen a gorilla come through here?"

The gorilla responds, "you mean the one who pushed elephant shit in the lion's face?"

The lion responds, "what the hell, I can't believe it's in the newspaper already!"

November 26, 2022

The Orange Garbage Disposal once didn't know what the

Nuclear Triad is.

Said waste of O2 was found with thousands of classified documents.

Someone who knows nothing, appreciates nothing, had access to everything.

November 26, 2022

So a guy breaks into a house.

It's completely dark. Out of the darkness a voice yells, "hey, me and Jesus is watching you!" The burglar freezes until it's quiet again.

As soon as he starts moving again the voice yells out, "hey, me and Jesus is watching you!" The burglar takes a risk and shines his flashlight around the room. The light falls on a cage and inside is a parrot that yells, "hey, me and Jesus is watching you!!

The burglar laughs and says, "you are nothing by an old moth eaten parrot, you can't do nothing!" The parrot says, "you are right, I'm nothing but a moth eaten parrot, but Jesus is a 90 pound Doberman standing behind you."

November 26, 2022

Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion.

They said he'll be given a tough sentence.

November 24, 2022

My wife said no puns on Thanksgiving

No can do.

I can’t quit cold turkey.

November 23, 2022

What's the lion and the witch doing in

your wardrobe?

It’s Narnia you’re business.

November 23, 2022

Truth Read Today

The Orange Blowfish is going to serve 2 terms:

One in Federal Prison and one in State Prison.

November 22, 2022

These days Lance is

an uncommon name.

However, back during the time of knights, men were called lance a lot.

Profile Information

Member since: Tue Nov 6, 2012, 11:29 AM
Number of posts: 13,062
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