they asked the chickens what they thought the ducks should do.

The chickens said, "don't do it, you'll never hear the end of it."

If you want defend yourself against armed intruders have your students build a wall of books.

No, wait. Books are banned. AR-15.

Not so much.

I don't know what's more outstanding: that he pitched 101 innings in the WS or that his ERA was 0.97 in those innings.

smuggle a bomb in his shoes there's no way the gubmint going to make take off mine in airports. No way.

Wait.....

advertising features you sporting a gun, you are vile excuse for a human being.

Don’t talk to me, I have my own problems!

What does a subatomic duck say?

Quark!

https://www.businessinsider.com/policeman-relives-texas-tower-shooting-50th-anniversary-2016-7?op=1

This was handled a bit differently by these officers than what happened in Uvalde.

These officers were up against a barricaded suspect with military training. The officers had no helmets, body armor, or military grade weapons. Guts a plenty though.

(I listened to this incident live on the radio while living in Houston.)

He's actually referring to blocking out any information that explains the police "response."

The other day, after a lab test, I received the test result back. Maybe it was written by a bot. The message was written in a way that made it ambiguous as to whether I had cancer.

Some hours later, the doc, seeing the unusual wording of the message sent a message saying you definitely don't have cancer.

I'm going to fix this problem, not by adjusting any health habits, but rather changing my email address.