Starting college? Your kid is starting college? Some unrequested advice from a professor.

Classes are starting up across the country. I've posted some of this before, but I've been told (perhaps falsely) that it's useful, so here it is again:


As some of you know, I teach at a university. This includes a large-enrollment class for non-science majors in the fall and more advanced classes in the spring.

Being a first-year student is exhilarating! So many paths to choose! So many opportunities to make a real difference! So much freedom for self-assertion! So much to drink at after-game parties! You’re stepping forward not as adolesents, but as adults, and you’re taking more control over your personal time and direction.

But it can also be terrifying. You might be far from home for the first time. You might be the first member of your family to attend college. You might have been a stand-out in high school, but now you're surrounded by other stand-outs from other high schools. It's intimidating. You don't have Mom and/or Dad to keep your nose to the grindstone, and some aspects of being a college student - enrolling in classes, for example - are downright labyrinthine. And if you're a student of color or a member of the LGBTQ community, you'll be facing residual bigotry that lingers in spite of everything we're doing to combat it.

And there’s the cost. You may have already gone to buy your textbooks. It’s not like buying a few paperback novels. One can buy a functioning used car for the cost of a semester’s textbooks. Meals? Rent and utilities, if you’re not in a dorm? That’s all on you now.

You’ve probably been told that we professors don’t care about you. But you know what? We do. We really do. We wouldn’t be in this line of work if we didn’t. And we understand what you’re going through, because we’ve all been there, and times haven’t changed so much that we can’t help guide you through this massive transition.

In fact, seeing you through all of this is part of our job, and it’s a privilege to take it on.

Thus, I’ve compiled some advice over the past few years that might help you as you get ready to dive in:

1. Be careful with assumptions, and always ask before acting. Exceptions can't always be made.

During the pandemic, I would get emails from incoming students to confirm that the lectures for my class were being recorded. I always responded that although my lectures were on-line (which I hated), they weren’t pre-recorded. They were “synchronous,” meaning one had to watch the lecture at the scheduled time, just as if they were attending the lecture in an auditorium

This would be followed by a request for accommodation because the student had another commitment when lecture was scheduled to take place.

In other words, the student had enrolled in a course they couldn’t actually attend, and they wanted me to change my procedures to match their faulty assumption.

I've encountered all kinds of bad assumptions. You can take a quiz late, even though I said there wouldn't be make-ups? That we’ll always accommodate requests for a makeup (see below)? That the exam will look exactly as you imagined? Bad assumptions. And so it goes.

My ex used to teach a lab that met on Fridays at 4:30. There were quizzes every week. During the first week of class, she had to tell her students that "My parents already paid for the plane ticket " would not be accepted as a reason to miss lab on the Friday before Thanksgiving break.
Not sure whether something will be allowed? Unsure if you’re facing a situation that calls for an exception to course policy? Please, for the love of whatever deities may or may not exist – ask! We’d rather work with you before something happens than after.

“It’s easier to get forgiveness than permission” is a nice quip, but it’s false.


2. Keep your life as simple as possible.

Extracurricular activities expand your horizons and can help you find a community far from home. They can be of tremendous benefit to your mental health. It is, however, easy to get roped in too deeply, especially when you’re just starting out. Overloading yourself with such things reduces the amount of time you have for your homework and studying.

This is why I encourage on-campus living when it's available for first-year students. It keeps life simple.

I'm not saying one should live a monastic existence and ignore the rest of the world. But you'll still be getting your footing during your first year, so don't overdo it.


3. Save everything.

I once had a student approach me after classes were over, wondering why she got a C in my class. She was sure she'd be in solid B range. I pointed out that her final exam and one of her midterms were indeed in the 80's, but her other midterm was a 38. That, I explained, dragged her grade down. "But I didn't get a 38," she replied, "I got an 83!" She showed me her exam, and sure enough, she did. The moron (most likely me) who entered the grades into the spreadsheet typed them in backward. It happens, and mistakes like this are easily corrected - and this is made easier if you can show your professor what you actually got.

Seriously - treat your homework assignments, quizzes, exams, and whatnot like receipts.


4. Keep your family posted about your classroom commitments.

If someone's planning a family event, it wouldn't hurt if they knew when your exams are scheduled. As detailed below, we cannot always make scheduling accommodations.


5. Always contact an instructor before missing something. Always get some sort of proof for the reason. And bear in mind – we can’t accommodate everything.

Here are some things we can accommodate: illness (psychiatric/mental or physical); family emergencies (funerals or sudden very severe medical incidents or accidents); court date or jury duty; family event planned long in advance (e.g. wedding), provided we're notified well before the exam; job interview; transportation problems (e.g. missed bus, car broke down); conflicting institution-related event (e.g. sports, marching band, ROTC, or a required field trip for another class); computer problems (if the exam is online); work schedule conflict (though if it happens frequently, it might be good to take a different class or get a different job).

Here are some things we generally either can't or won't: oversleeping; routine as opposed to milestone family event (e.g. I'll accommodate you for your grandmother's 100th birthday party, but not your cousin's 8th); you missed a bunch of class, but haven't made an effort to speak to me or borrow someone's notes until minutes before or some time after the exam; not feeling ready and wanting extra time; travel preference (e.g. wanting to take a test early because it's scheduled late in finals week or right before Thanksgiving/Spring break and you want to get out of town).

Bottom line - we accommodate need, not convenience.

Getting a doctor's note for an illness is easy enough, but it should be possible to document pretty much any good reason to miss class - including a funeral. I, for one, would never ask for documentation for a funeral, but I know professors who do - and generally, it's not all that hard to get. If you can't bring in an obituary, most funeral homes and houses of worship are willing to provide a letter acknowledging your presence at a funeral service at their facility. (These used to be necessary when airlines offered lower "bereavement" rates for last-minute travel.)

And before I'm attacked for being hard-ass, please bear in mind - arranging a make-up exam really is an imposition. On our campus, instructors are responsible for scheduling exams for students who need an accommodation, such as extended time or a low-distraction environment, for a learning disability – and 5 or 10 percent of the class may fall in this category. For a class of 200, that's 10 or 20 students who need accommodation. And that's on top of those who were bridesmaids, got sick, or had a family emergency. Every request for a makeup is a request to find a 1 or 2 hour slot that works for your busy schedule as well as mine, and depending on circumstances, it might require finding a time that hasn’t already been taken by another student wanting an accommodation. If you actually need the accommodation, no problem – that’s my job and responsibility. If it’s for a non-essential reason, you’ll have to make a strong case.


6. Get to know your instructors.

This is arguably more important later in your college career, but it doesn't hurt stop by during office hours. That's what they're for.

This is good not only because you'll understand the material better by asking questions early and often, but because it helps us get to know you. Believe me - it's a lot easier to write a letter of recommendation if I know something about the student beyond his or her exam scores.

Students who come to know their professors tend to be asked to participate in research or creative projects. That looks really good on your resume, and it makes you better at what you do anyway. It also reduces feelings of isolation. We professors are no longer the terrifying, impersonal authorities who look down on our students - we're people.


7. Know when to pull back.

Life happens.

A lot of students encounter mental or emotional problems they may not have anticipated, or the problems they already have might be exacerbated. You might feel isolated on campus. You might be overwhelmed with difficult classes. You may be trying to balance your classes with a job or the needs of a small child. Your financial situation may change. You, or a loved one, may be facing a very serious physical illness that requires much of your attention.

Sometimes, the best solution is to cut back on your classes. Staying in for the sake of completing the semester might be counterproductive if you fail everything. Do you want to graduate on time, or with a respectable GPA? Sometimes, these are mutually incompatible.

I'm not saying you should just drop out of school when things get tough. It's always going to be difficult. Besides, dropping below a certain number of credit hours can jeopardize your financial aid. But in consultation with academic advisors and perhaps a mental health professional, dropping one or two courses might not always be a bad idea.


8. Know when to ask for help, and find out where it can be found.

We get it. All of us were students, and many of us needed help at times. That includes me.

There is no dishonor in asking for help, and there are places to find it. Most campuses have some sort of student counseling center - that, or they'll have resources to help you find a professional counselor. They're not there as window dressing - they're there because people need them.

Creating a sense of belonging can go a long way toward alleviating some of the pressure and stress of being a first-year college student. This is why I advise against overdoing it with extracurricular activities - not against avoiding them altogether.

This was especially true during the pandemic. Usually, out of a group of 200, I’ll get one or two reaching out to tell me they've missed some assignments because they're having a rough time. In 2020, in the midst of the pandemic, the presidential election, and social unrest, it was more like 15 or 20 of them. Some were students of color who felt the pressure of racism like never before. Others were failing to thrive academically in the on-line system imposed on us by the pandemic. It was bad.

Always bear this in mind: we’ve been there. And even if was in past decades, things haven't changed so much that we cannot understand your situation. In fact, we've been front-and-center in the decisions that made things different. So we still get it.

Personally, as a white, cis-gender, heterosexual, nominally Christian male who’s never been the victim of a serious crime, there are some issues I can’t address with any real authority – but others on campus can. Some of us are sexual assault survivors, or have experienced racism or bigotry in some form. Others, myself included, know what it means to live with poverty or food insecurity. We’ve been through major relationship breakups. We’ve lived through serious illnesses and injuries. We’ve cared for chronically ill relatives and had loved ones die unexpectedly. We know what these do to a person. We’re as human as you are, and we can listen. We can advise, or we can tell you who can.

As I said previously – we do this because it’s who we are. We embrace the whole of the academic profession, and that includes mentorship of our students. We take our jobs as a matter of pride, and if one of our students is struggling, we want to know so we can help.

Seriously – ask us. We’ll tell you.

And all the best for your new adventure. It’s intimidating, but having been through it, I wouldn’t trade the experience for anything.