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Miles Archer

Profile Information

Name: Miles Archer
Gender: Male
Hometown: Hamilton Massachusetts
Home country: USA
Current location: Nevada
Member since: Wed Oct 16, 2013, 07:49 PM
Number of posts: 18,489

Journal Archives

Just found out my Junior High girlfriend died last year of brain cancer. Fuck you, "mortality."

I'm now officially at the point where the little Marcia Bradys and Laurie Partridges I chased all over the map in my school days are developing chronic diseases and dying. One died of brain cancer, another also died of cancer a year ago, and a third has developed chronic MS. I saw a picture of her on Facebook the other day, getting around with a cane.

For all of my fellow DUers in their 20s and 30s, carpe motherfucking DIEM. Do not waste a MINUTE. Life is going to come up on you one day like a freight train and that is not the time to have regrets about the things you didn't do and the people you failed to love...including yourself.

Fresh out of Biden jokes, loathsome prick Ted Cruz is tone deaf to current events in SC, too

RED OAK, Iowa - Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) dropped a few gun control jokes during his latest swing through Iowa, days after the shooting deaths of nine people in a Charleston, South Carolina, church.

"You know the great thing about the state of Iowa is, I'm pretty sure you all define gun control the same way we do in Texas -- hitting what you aim at," Cruz said at a town hall meeting Friday in Red Oak.

Before a crowd of nearly 70 people, Cruz recalled a recent excursion to a gun range in New Hampshire that had fully automatic machine guns.

"My wife, Heidi, who is a petite, 5'2 California blonde, she was standing at the tripod unloading the full machine gun with a pink baseball cap that said 'armed and fabulous,'" he said.


BREAKING: Jeb Bush Hires Yoga Coach So He Can Pull His Head Out Of His Ass, Put It Back At Will

Breaking news, so no link yet.

Kennebunkport, ME: Jeb Bush is taking a break from his 2016 Presidential aspirations to spend time at the Bush family compound in Kennebunkport. Bush was briefly interviewed on Friday afternoon upon his arrival at Portland International Jetport, and was clearly enthusiastic about the Yoga coach he had just hired. "It's SO neat," he enthused, "because now, whenever I want to pull my head out of my ass I can, but if I decide later that I want to go through life with my head up my ass, I can pop it right back in there."

Man Who Thought Getting 29 Miley Cyrus Tattoos was a Good Idea Now Regrets it

Everyone handles major life changes differently. When Carl McCoid got divorced in 2010, he dealt with it by covering his body with Miley Cyrus tattoos. Now, several years later, 42 year-old McCoid — who named one of his kids after the pop singer — says he will undergo laser tattoo removal, The Mirror reports. "There's a dude that holds a record of the most pictures of my face," Cyrus said in an interview in 2013 when she was promoting Bangerz.


ONE SLICE of Pizza Hut's "Hot Dog Crust Pizza" has the fat content of 7 Taco Bell Soft Steak Tacos



Pizza Hut Hot Dog Bites Pizza

Estimated per slice: 460 calories, 30 g fat, 9.9 g saturated fat, 32.7 g carbohydrates

That’s the Fat Equivalent of: 7.5 Taco Bell Soft Fresco Steak Tacos!

We’ve seen Pizza Hut do some kooky things in the past to try to woo new fans—remember the Crazy Cheesy Crust Pizza, with 16 crust pockets of five totally different cheeses? Their latest monster mashup is Hot Dog Bites Pizza—a cheesy, pepperoni pizza surrounded by pigs in a blanket instead of the standard crust. Combining two fattening, calorie-dense, all-American foods is a lose-lose situation (though you won’t lose weight)—there’s a whopping 3,680 calories in a typical, 8-slice pie, to be exact. Oh, and it’s served with French’s mustard—for dipping all those hot dogs, of course. Yum?

Pennsylvania Homeless man returns purse full of cash to sick single mother

Homeless man returns purse full of cash to sick single mother


He didn't know where his next meal was coming from, but that didn't stop him from doing the right thing.

A homeless man in Pennsylvania is receiving praise after he returned a purse with almost $400 in it to its owner, a single mother who is on welfare and battling brain cancer.

According to WJAC-TV, the 32-year-old homeless man saw the purse sitting on a State College park bench. He opened the purse and saw the money, along with an Access (medical assistance) card, and knew the owner of the purse was also down on her luck.

The homeless man, who does not want to be identified and did not want to go on camera, contacted a local homeless shelter. They were able to find the woman and return the purse.

I don't care if he can play "Eruption." Eddie Van Halen's an angry, petulant, classless little prick

The guitarist saved his most scathing words for former Van Halen bassist Michael Anthony, who was pushed out of the group after their 2004 reunion tour with Sammy Hagar. "Every note Mike ever played, I had to show him how to play," Van Halen said. "Before we'd go on tour, he'd come over with a video camera and I'd have to show him how to play all the parts."

Van Halen shockingly refuses to concede that Anthony's background vocals were vital to the group's sound. "Mike's voice is like a piccolo trumpet," he said. "But he’s not a singer. He just has a range from hell. Mike was just born with a very high voice. I have more soul as a singer than he does. And you know, people always talk about Mike’s voice on Van Halen songs, but that’s a blend of Mike’s voice and my voice. It’s not just him."

When reached for comment, Anthony remained gracious. "I am proud to say that my bass playing and vocals helped create our sound," he told Billboard. "I’ve always chosen to take the high road and stay out of the never-ending mudslinging, because I believe that it ultimately ends up hurting the Van Halen fans."

Back in 1998, the group attempted to tour with a third singer, Extreme's Gary Cherone. "It was a strange thing with Cherone,” says Van Halen. "We were getting ready to go on tour, and all of a sudden, I see this John Travolta outfit — these big lapels and a crazy jacket. He’s like, 'This is my stage outfit.' That’s when I realized it wasn’t going to work. But I don’t dislike Gary at all."


SC shooter pretty much labeled actions as "ethnic cleansing" but Jeb "doesn't know why" he did it

Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush said Friday that he isn't sure what motivated a young white man to walk into a historically black church in Charleston, South Carolina, Wednesday night and kill nine people.

"I don't know what was on the mind or the heart of the man who committed these atrocious crimes," the former Florida governor said at the Faith & Freedom Coalition conference.

The shooter, 21-year-old Dylann Roof, was crystal clear about his motive: He reportedly announced he was there to kill black people, saying at the church, "You rape our women, and you're taking over the country. And you have to go."

In a Facebook picture, Roof sported patches on his jacket representing Rhodesia, a former apartheid state in East Africa, and apartheid-era South Africa. He also reportedly told his roommate he was planning to ignite a civil war.


Nixon wasn't a crook, and KFC claims this isn't a Kentucky Fried Rodent.

KFC Says 'Fried Rat' Is Just A Weird-Looking Chicken Tender


If this thing tastes like chicken, it's for a braver soul to find out.

A California man made waves on Facebook after posting a photo of an oddly shaped cutlet that he claims to have received in a three-piece meal from a Los Angeles KFC on Friday. As of Thursday afternoon, the image had been shared more than 121,000 times.

Devorise Dixon, 25, said on Facebook that he bit into the unsavory-looking morsel and found it had a rubbery texture. He then claimed to have taken it back to the KFC restaurant where he'd purchased it. The manager told Dixon the fried lump was a rat, apologized and offered him a free meal, Dixon told a local radio show, the Randy Economy Show, June 13.

"A customer has made a serious claim against KFC and refuses to cooperate in the investigation," KFC said in a statement sent to The Huffington Post. "Based on this, and the fact that he refuses to allow anyone to see the product, we are left to believe that he intended to deceive the public with this hoax and we are considering all options."

SEE, you daffy Liverpudlian? You worried for NOTHING. They still need AND feed you, 9 years later.

Happy birthday SIR PAUL.

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