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Miles Archer

Profile Information

Name: Miles Archer
Gender: Male
Hometown: Hamilton Massachusetts
Home country: USA
Current location: Nevada
Member since: Wed Oct 16, 2013, 07:49 PM
Number of posts: 18,489

Journal Archives

In a better world, "crusading" candidates would have to live on the receiving end of their crusades.

Case in point, Mike Huckabee, who today is taking victory laps over the Federal courts upholding Texas pro-life laws, and the potential of closing abortion clinics across the state. He's also promising to "de-fund Planned Parenthood" if he wins.

So my fantasy would be that if Huckabee really wants to run on this platform, he'd have to go through a "Total Recall" moment. He'd receive an implant that, for the period of one month, would have him fully immersed in the mental state and reality of a woman carrying an unwanted child with no options.

Circumstances of the pregnancy really wouldn't be as important as the fact that during the 30 days, he wouldn't know he was Mike Huckabee.

But at the END of 30 days, when he became Mike Huckabee again, he would never lose the reality of his 30 day experience. In his consciousness, it would be a "memory" that he actually lived, and he would live with it for the rest of his life.

If he could do that and still have the courage of his convictions to vote for something like this, I might give him some props, instead of seeing him for what he really is...a detached asshole, playing to the base and pimping for votes at any expense.

Posted by Miles Archer | Tue Jun 9, 2015, 04:57 PM (2 replies)

If I get my car back any different than I gave it, Monster Joe’s gonna be disposing of two bodies.

Gentlemen, let’s get our rules of the road straight. We’re going to a place called Monster Joe’s Truck and Tow. Monster Joe and his daughter Raquel are sympathetic to our dilemma. The place is North Hollywood, so a few twist and turns aside, we’ll be goin’ up Hollywood Way. Now I’ll drive the tainted car. Jules, you ride with me. Vincent, you follow in my Porsche. Now if we cross the path of any John Q. Laws, nobody does a fuckin’ thing ’til I do something. (to Jules) What did I say?

Don’t do shit unless —

— unless what?

Unless you do it first.

Spoken like a true prodigy. (to Vincent) How ’bout you, Lash Larue? Can you keep your spurs from jingling and jangling?

I’m cool, Mr. Wolf. My gun just went off, I dunno how.

Fair enough. (he throws Vince his car keys) I drive real fuckin’ fast, so keep up. If I get my car back any different than I gave it, Monster Joe’s gonna be disposing of two bodies.

Why do you drive fast?

Because it’s a lot of fun. Let’s move.
Posted by Miles Archer | Tue Jun 9, 2015, 10:11 AM (0 replies)

The guy who used to be Clint Eastwood made a FUNNY, but Spike TV wasn't laughing.

Spike TV cuts Eastwood joke about Caitlyn Jenner


LOS ANGELES - It looks like Spike TV didn’t find Clint Eastwood’s joke about Caitlyn Jenner during the Guys’ Choice Awards taping on Saturday very funny.

A rep for the male-centered network said the reference will be cut from the telecast.

“We will remove the reference in the version that will air,” David Schwarz, Spike TV senior vice president of communications, said in a statement.

During the taping, while presenting “San Andreas” star Dwayne Johnson with a special award, Eastwood compared Johnson to other athletes-turned-actors like “Jim Brown and Caitlyn Somebody.”

Tractor-Trailer Carrying 70,000 Pounds of Bacon Collides with Amtrak Train

Tractor-Trailer Carrying 70,000 Pounds of Bacon Collides with Amtrak Train


A Chicago-bound Amtrak train had an unfortunate encounter with a tractor-trailer carrying 70,000 pounds of bacon that was “obstructing the tracks” last Friday, June 5 — the same day we reported on Indiana’s amazing bacon lottery.

The train, Texas Eagle Train 22, collided with the truck near Illinois Route 53, and managed to overturn the truck, splitting it in half.

“There's boxes everywhere [sic],” a passenger told NBC Chicago. “But somehow the driver was OK.”

None of the crew or passengers were injured in the crash, but we assume all hope for the bacon was lost.
Posted by Miles Archer | Mon Jun 8, 2015, 11:42 PM (1 replies)

Vincent D'Onofrio in Netflix's "Daredevil"...

...I got a "We want you back, let us give you a new free trial" email from Netflix today, and I may have to bite, because I keep reading about D'Onofrio's role in this and really want to see it.

I'm a real "Law & Order Criminal Intent" junkie..."Goren" was such a brilliant character, part Sherlock Holmes-level genius and part emotionally crippled accident waiting to happen. The way he played that out over 10 seasons, instead of throwing it at you all at once, and that final scene of the last episode...just sheer brilliance.

Posted by Miles Archer | Mon Jun 8, 2015, 11:38 PM (8 replies)


Er...wait a second.

Those people SUCK!

What the hell was I thinking? I got cold-cocked this morning by someone who was told something I told someone else that NEVER SHOULD HAVE BEEN REPEATED TO ANYONE and my thought was "Man, this guy SUCKS!"

So...forget what I said and carry on.

Posted by Miles Archer | Mon Jun 8, 2015, 10:06 PM (4 replies)

90 Percent of Kurt Cobain documentary 'Montage of Heck' is BS, Says Melvins Founder

'90 Percent of 'Montage of Heck' is Bulls--t,' Says Melvins Founder


Buzz Osbourne, founding member of the Melvins and longtime friend of Kurt Cobain, has quite a few quibbles with the new documentary Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck. "People need to understand that 90 percent of Montage of Heck is bullshit. Total bullshit," he declares in a review of the film for The Talkhouse.

The documentary, directed by Brett Morgan, has been widely praised for creating an intimate portrait of the late Nirvana frontman through the use of Cobain's own home movies, journals and audio recordings. The fact that much of the information in the film comes directly from Cobain might lend it some credence, but Osborne says that's where the problem lies. "That’s the one thing no one gets about Cobain — he was a master of jerking your chain."

Osborne says there's absolutely no truth to tales Cobain tells in the film of attempting suicide on the train tracks and trying to hook up with a developmentally challenged girl from his high school. "That’s too good a story to have gone this long without me hearing about it, especially if, as he suggests, the girl’s father freaked out about it at the high school," he writes. "In that small-town shit-hole, exciting news of that nature would have been common knowledge before the sun set."

Osborne also says that the stomach-troubles that reportedly plagued Cobain were an invention. "He made it up for sympathy and so he could use it as an excuse to stay loaded," he explains. "Of course he was vomiting — that’s what people on heroin do, they vomit. It’s called 'vomiting with a smile on your face.'
Posted by Miles Archer | Sun Jun 7, 2015, 06:37 PM (7 replies)

The "photographer" responsible for the mustard-yellow fried chicken with red lesions strikes again

They just posted 3 new pics on Facebook. Would love to say something but they will immediately delete my comments.

Chris Brown, who punched the shit out of Rihanna, posted something insensitive? STOP THE PRESSES.

What the fuck do people expect out of this shit stain, a Kumbaya moment with Caitlyn?

If you have nothing nice to say, don't say it at all.

That's exactly the message Kylie Jenner is trying to put out there, especially following Chris Brown's latest Instagram drama regarding Caitlyn Jenner.

The rapper posted (and then deleted) the same meme that Snoop Dogg shared earlier this week, which caused a ton of backlash from followers at the time.

The photos featured an image of Akon with the text, "Shout out to Akon! He is about to supply 600 million africans with solar power. Im really upset that this isn't major news but that science project bruce jenner is #Society." Snoop captioned the pic, "News flash. @akon tune in to ggn for some real news."

Posted by Miles Archer | Sat Jun 6, 2015, 05:29 PM (1 replies)

Do you know where I can get rid of these things?

Mick Taylor, lead guitar.

Oh God said to Abraham, “Kill me a son”
Abe says, “Man, you must be puttin’ me on”
God say, “No.” Abe say, “What?”
God say, “You can do what you want Abe, but
The next time you see me comin’ you better run”
Well Abe says, “Where do you want this killin’ done?”
God says, “Out on Highway 61”

Well Georgia Sam he had a bloody nose
Welfare Department they wouldn’t give him no clothes
He asked poor Howard where can I go
Howard said there’s only one place I know
Sam said tell me quick man I got to run
Ol’ Howard just pointed with his gun
And said that way down on Highway 61

Well Mack the Finger said to Louie the King
I got forty red, white and blue shoestrings
And a thousand telephones that don’t ring
Do you know where I can get rid of these things
And Louie the King said let me think for a minute son
And he said yes I think it can be easily done
Just take everything down to Highway 61

Now the fifth daughter on the twelfth night
Told the first father that things weren’t right
My complexion she said is much too white
He said come here and step into the light, he says hmm you’re right
Let me tell the second mother this has been done
But the second mother was with the seventh son
And they were both out on Highway 61

Now the rovin’ gambler he was very bored
He was tryin’ to create a next world war
He found a promoter who nearly fell off the floor
He said I never engaged in this kind of thing before
But yes I think it can be very easily done
We’ll just put some bleachers out in the sun
And have it on Highway 61
Posted by Miles Archer | Sat Jun 6, 2015, 05:08 PM (7 replies)
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