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Member since: Tue Jul 28, 2015, 09:35 PM
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OK, MSNBC just confirmed it. Roger Stone's sentence commuted.

Borowitz: Trump freaks out after giant statue of Obama appears on WH lawn

I don't know how I missed this yesterday, but it's a good one. "He cares so much about history" is the best line.

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump “totally freaked out” on Tuesday morning, after a gigantic statue of the former President Barack Obama appeared on the White House lawn overnight, sources have confirmed.

Trump first discovered the statue, which stands approximately thirty feet tall, when he awoke to see the sculptural rendering of Obama’s face staring at him through his bedroom window.

Shaken, Trump immediately summoned his Secret Service detail to escort him down to the White House bunker, where he unsuccessfully tried to steady his nerves.

At 7 a.m., an emergency meeting of top White House advisers was convened, during which an increasingly agitated Trump demanded to know the origin of the mysterious Obama behemoth.

Trump, who theorized that the gargantuan statue had been placed on the White House grounds by either George Soros or Jeff Bezos, ordered that the imposing monument to his predecessor be torn down and disposed of at once.

Reached by reporters at his home, Obama said that he “wasn’t sure” that he deserved a statue, especially such a large one, but expressed surprise at Trump’s decision to tear it down.

“It’s not like him,” Obama said. “He cares so much about history.”

Obama’s words did little to calm Trump, however, who reportedly ordered the Secret Service to foil any plot to deposit a giant statue of Hillary Clinton on the White House lawn.

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