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Member since: Tue Jul 28, 2015, 09:35 PM
Number of posts: 896

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I don't want to anger Grovelbot, and I would like to help DU

How do I donate and give someone a star membership? Please note that the laptop is having problems, so I need to do this on my phone.

As if there weren't enough reasons to vote Biden/Harris, Andy Borowitz weighs in...

U.S. Sen. Kamala Harris delivers.
Satire from The Borowitz Report

Harris’s Approval Rating Soars After Trump Reminds Nation How “Nasty” She Was to Kavanaugh
“When Trump said that she had been ‘nasty’ at the confirmation hearing, I had to go to YouTube and relive that glorious event,” one voter said.

So I'm watching Brian Williams, having been media free for most of the afternoon...

BLOTUS was just on the teevee, and after watching him I thought:

"Good grief, Kellyanne, you got his meds wrong AGAIN!"

Borowitz: Americans Oppose More Payments to a Man Who is Not Working

Satire from The Borowitz Report
Americans Oppose More Payments to Man Who Is Not Working

By Andy Borowitz
August 8, 2020
Mitch McConnell
Photograph by Tom Brenner / Getty
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Americans are vehemently opposed to issuing more government payments to a Kentucky man who has not been working during the coronavirus crisis.

According to reports, the man has been receiving a weekly check amounting to over three thousand dollars for doing nothing, all at taxpayers’ expense.

Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of a watchdog group called Americans Against Waste and Abuse, called the payments to this non-working individual “nothing short of scandalous.”

“If you do the math, he is receiving checks that add up to $174,000 a year,” Dorrinson said. “Under those circumstances, what is his incentive to work?”

Dorrinson said that the payments the man has been receiving should be cut off “immediately” and sent to someone who is providing essential services during the pandemic, like a health-care worker or first responder.

As for the Kentucky man, Dorrinson said, “It’s time for him to stop living off the government and show some personal responsibility.”


Sometimes, I wonder why Borowitz is labelled as "satire".

Sorry the photo of the turtle did not copy.

Borowitz: Biden leading Trump among Voters who favor being alive

Joe Biden smiling.
Photograph by Andrew Harnik / AP / Shutterstock
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—With fewer than a hundred days until the election, Donald J. Trump is trailing Joe Biden badly among voters who describe themselves as in favor of being alive.

The poll, which was conducted by the University of Minnesota, shows Biden beating Trump by a whopping thirty-one per cent among voters who call continuing to exist the issue that is most important to them.

In several swing states, including Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin, Biden has wiped out Trump’s lead by racking up huge margins among the rather-not-die-right-now demographic.

“Trump needs to do something dramatic to show voters that he, too, is in favor of them staying alive,” Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll, said. “I’m not sure that shooting rubber bullets and tear gas at them sends that message.”

Trump’s new campaign manager, Bill Stepien, accused the media of focussing too much attention on the opinions of voters who wish to continue to breathe because of the press’s own “anti-dying bias.”

“This campaign is working overtime to identify voters who are not in favor of being alive and make sure they know that President Trump is on their side,” he said.

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