September 30, 2020

Hey BLOTUS, why aren't you saying that the gulf states should be raking their water ways

to prevent hurricanes?

September 30, 2020

Why are there no questions about climate change?

Oh yeah, Chris Wallace. Maybe next time.

September 23, 2020

Borowitz: Expanding the court

Democrats Favor Expanding Supreme Court by Adding Entire Obama Family

Acknowledging that the Obamas “already have a lot on their plates,” the activist asserted that serving on the Court could be worked into the family’s busy schedule.



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September 10, 2020

Borowitz: The downside of Trump never having read a book

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s decision to talk to Bob Woodward demonstrates the downside of never having read a book in his entire life, experts say.

While millions of Americans were astonished that Trump would voluntarily speak at great length to an author famous for his takedowns of Presidents, experts believe that a total obliviousness to books and what is inside them might have played a pivotal role.

Davis Logsdon, a University of Minnesota professor who studies the psychology of people who have never read a book in their lives, said that such people might be overconfident about how they would be portrayed if a book were ever written about them.

“If you’ve never read a book in your life, you might be under the impression that all books are flattering,” he said. “You would have no idea that a book could portray you as a human dumpster fire.”

As for Trump, Logsdon said that the President would “definitely benefit” from reading a book someday, but added, “It’s a little late for that now.”

Edit to include link

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trumps-agreeing-to-talk-to-woodward-shows-downside-of-never-having-read-a-book-in-entire-life?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_091020&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5be5ca70fbd2976368715f24&cndid=49787632&hasha=22ffff498c4858274348f4b4acc455d6&hashb=599bbf974bf4cade7ccd0536c884e7c4a3ad5d98&hashc=24a04332b8c3582bbccd0342f89e84f1dbcb2b6847011fce0a30cc3f0acd9c66&esrc=article-newsletter&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz

September 1, 2020

Borowitz :Trump Says He Deserves No Blame for State US Because He Has Not Actually Worked 4 years

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Pushing back against attempts to brand the United States of 2020 as “Trump’s America,” Donald Trump said that he deserves no blame for the state of the country, because he has not actually done any work for the past four years.

“I could understand people blaming me for things if I had actually been doing my job, but, quite frankly, I haven’t,” he said. “Anybody who claims otherwise is a terrible person.”

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/trump-says-he-deserves-no-blame-for-state-of-america-because-he-has-not-actually-worked-for-past-four-years?utm_source=nl&utm_brand=tny&utm_mailing=TNY_Borowitz_090120&utm_campaign=aud-dev&utm_medium=email&bxid=5be5ca70fbd2976368715f24&cndid=49787632&hasha=22ffff498c4858274348f4b4acc455d6&hashb=599bbf974bf4cade7ccd0536c884e7c4a3ad5d98&hashc=24a04332b8c3582bbccd0342f89e84f1dbcb2b6847011fce0a30cc3f0acd9c66&esrc=article-newsletter&utm_term=TNY_Borowitz

At last, a statement that stands up to fact checking.