May 1, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin
It's been a month of shelter in place, and looking at another month, at least. It's a daunting prospect. While we are shut behind our doors, our whole world is going to change.
As things worked out, I'm not by myself. My home care provider, though he lives close by, is staying for the duration. It's safer for all that way, the building I live in is filled with the elderly. It's a blessing for me, it's like having a servant.
I am in the process of passing a kidney stone, so it's a good thing. One thing that makes it exciting is sneezing. It's an audible explosion of a sneeze combined with a cry of shock and agony. The pain has been impressive, and I hope it's over soon.
I guess the point is, I'm being helped when I need it. Everyone stuck inside with you needs your help. It's tough times, we need each other.

Hold those dear to you close

God save the Republic

April 30, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin

Folks, for many years the right has told us "trickle down economics works" and it does, for the already rich. They just stash most of it, the real assholes among them stash it overseas. We are trying the other way, for the first time. Mark Twain pointed out the folly of trickle down many years ago. He said if you insert the money at the bottom, those at the top will have it before sunset anyway. Along the way it will "stimulate" the economy. The poor can't stash it, they HAVE to spend it. I've read Madam Speaker and the House democrats want the new stimulus package to include debit cards for everybody with two grand loaded on them, and a grand a month added until the plague is dealt with. It's the best way, I think, to try to salvage the economy.
Sometimes I sit and think about all the changes the plague is going to bring, and it's breath taking. The cost in lives is horrific, but it didn't have to be this way. Other nations are handling it much better, it is our inept, toxic leadership that is driving our death rates much higher than they need to be. That is the message we need to concentrate on as we go into the Fall election.

I get to check out one of the changes this morning, my Doctor is going to call, it's my first phone consultation. I've been doing a lot of research on my physical problem, and I'll try to be helpful. I'm thinking it's a kidney infection, or stones. We'll see what she says.

Hold those dear to you close

God save the Republic

April 29, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin

So, the plague money was in the bank when I checked this morning. I went back into the web site yesterday, and redid my info using the "did not file" option, and boom. My morale went up, it was a relief. You know, the City originally was reluctant to give the pot stores "essential businesses" status, but after thinking about it, they changed their minds. People are told to stay home, this could be a recipe for disaster of the domestic kind. However, if you keep everybody baked, and glued to the big screen watching Netflix, there it is! Civilization may survive long enough to deal with this. Plus, they deliver.
That's the good news. Now the bad. When the plague danced through me in January, it really screwed something up. So, time to go see my doctor, who knows where this is all going.
Even with everything considered, I'm living the life. The new apartment is great, the senior housing is a God send, and I am a lucky s.o.b.

Hold those dear to you close

God save the Republic

April 26, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin:

I feel a sea change in myself, on a personal level I'm coming to terms with the damage the plague did to me. Not enough has been written about the after effects of a bout with this. When I caught the plague, I coughed endlessly. The pain I felt in my back, I thought, was because of that. The coughing stopped long ago, the pain has not, if anything, it's worse.
The clinic I use is testing, all they want is a call to set up an appointment. Is it the test to see if you have an active case? Or a test to see if you have the antigens? I don't know. I'll try to find out next week.
My morale is low. It's a combination of my physical discomfort, despair about the political state of the nation, and concern about my homeless friend. He is a friend, we have been through hell together, and I don't know where he is. He caught the plague the same time I did, he and my home care provider were both living with me at the time. I'm wondering if he is experiencing the same kind of aftereffects. My home care provider is. He is suffering, and still spooked by my homeless friend and the battles he witnessed. He still sages the place regularly! He fears the Demon I have fought with, and I hate that thing. I will not surrender my buddy, I will fight it forever.

Hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic

April 22, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin:
My thoughts have been with the health of my friends and family today. It's good to know that my elderly mother is ok, and the family back east is keeping a close eye on her.
But we have to remember what else is going on during this plague shit storm. The republicans aren't stupid, arguably evil, but not stupid. They have seen what's coming for a while now. It's why PBO was denied his last Supreme Court pick. Mitch the Turtle is packing the courts. The Bar Association is screaming bloody murder about some of the right wing, unqualified freaks he is setting in place. My belief, and I'm certainly not infallible, is that the republicans are going to lose the White House, the Senate, Governor-ships, and Madam Speaker is going to build on her majority in the House.
It may all be for nothing. Packing the courts with right wing zealots will cancel progressive legislation and policies for the next THIRTY YEARS. And there isn't a godamned thing we can do about it. If Shitler were thrown out of office, those nuts that have been put on the bench could be removed. It's why the sham trial in the Senate. The irony is I've read reports that Turtle Man calls Trump nuts behind his back. Go figure.

Hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic

April 21, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin
I've gotten over the fear of the seventh floor roof garden, and plan to spend time there. I'm damned lucky I have that opportunity. I can go outside, breath the open air under the sky, and yet not go outside. The flowers are spectacular, the little green house is filled with wonder.
Today my doctor advised me to take it easy on the five miles walks, even though I do it in two stages. She says because of my having had the plague, and the symptoms that persist, I need to build up my reserves. It sounds good, but I'm damned if I'm going to sit around and get fat! Been there, done that. The mental and emotional challenges are still there, and I'm not sure where to go with those. My homeless buddy is not around, but I know him, it won't be long before he stops by. I've known him for over four years now, and his family. Everybody in his life has turned their back on him, he can be a nightmare to deal with. I knew early on, and made my decision. I'm not the type of person to change my mind. Even though he blew my life apart, I will always be his friend, he can always come to me, and he knows that. I am the only constant in his life, a safe anchorage when he wants it.
Hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic.

April 19, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin:

Half way through April, and closing in on the half way mark for 2020. The years since my retirement in '16 seem like something written in a strange sy/fi novel. Physical trauma from the plague, which lingers still, to a broken hand, getting slugged in the forehead so hard it fractured my skull, losing ninety pounds, and finally, hand moving my possessions last week all adds up to a solid kick in the ass. At my age, all this is brutally hard to recover from. And I'm not even going to start on the mental and emotional wars I've fought. And I was worried retirement was going to be boring!
I never thought social networking was going to turn into something so important to me either. Through it I have grown closer to my relatives, to people I never knew, and to the few old school chums still kicking. The physical gulf between where I am and where I came from seems even wider because of the plague. My new apartment is both elegant and comfortable, but my beautiful San Francisco now seems strange. How I am to deal with all this will keep me occupied, certainly, for whatever time I have left.

Hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic

April 18, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin:
The political/plague situation has had me on a rip for two days now. It has ignited issues within me I had hoped not to have to deal with again. I wish I had never lived to see this. The republican party is about to make their big play, and try to do something they failed to do in the early years of the Roosevelt administration: A fascist coup.
They are going pull out all the stops, use their “news” outlets to full advantage, use their possession of the executive branch and it's enforcement agencies, the governors of red states, voter suppression tactics, and the knowledge that thirty percent of the public already leans fascist. Ignorance and hatred are their allies. Fear and hatred their shield. We will get one (1) chance to stop them, November. If we lose they will never give us another. Vote blue.
Hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic

April 17, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin:
My only social contacts have been through Facebook, and I am grateful for that. Like most of us, I am a social critter, not being able to have visitors in my home is very hard. I like company. It would be great to be able to bring my homeless friend up, let him rest, feed him, and visit. I don't worry about him so much as I miss him. My morning walks are, in part, to satisfy my hunger for society. I walked into the hood this morning, I needed to get a stamp. I went to my favorite corner store at Ellis/Leavenworth for it. I call the proprietor “boss”, and he calls me “beautiful”. Silly, I know, but it makes me feel good.
The people protesting the shelter in place rules are both short sighted and foolish. It reminds me of the old “tea party” protests, and I'm thinking it's the right preparing for losing in November. They need to lose, big time.
We all want things to get back to normal, but they never will. I don't know what's coming, but I have faith in my country. Lets work together, lets pray together, and we will all be together again.
Hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic

April 15, 2020

The view from the Tenderloin

The View from the Tenderloin:
I go for walks because I fear becoming too sedentary, and they help me organize my thoughts. The sight of nearly empty streets and boarded up store fronts fill me with fear. Fear that they are portents of the future, I don't like it. I walk through the old hood looking for familiar faces, and see none. The dope dealers stand out now, and I see fear on their faces. They don't get time off for anything, the apocalypses included.
I'm always looking for my little buddy, my little Wizard:

He had a cloak of gold
And eyes of fire
And as he spoke I felt a deep desire
To free the world
Of it's Fear and Pain
And help the people to feel free again.

Uriah Heep

Hold those dear to you close
God save the Republic