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Gender: Male
Hometown: Bay Area, CA
Home country: USA
Current location: AZ
Member since: Wed Feb 1, 2017, 03:51 AM
Number of posts: 26,166

Journal Archives

Congratulations on your Big Win today, AT&T, Verizon, Comcast, Cox, etc!

Protip: If you want more people on The Facebook to see your post ... preface it with "Congratulations" ...

Now, for the rest of the world ... Allow me to describe for you what the loss of Net Neutrality actually looks like.

Imagine ComCast is your internet provider ... you're trying to talk ... to them ...

Oh ... you wanted ... Netflix? You don't want to just sign up for Comcast Streaming Video, for a mere $5/month, everything included? Well, in that case, it'll be $10/month extra on your internet bill. Plus whatever is your Netflix fee ... so, you may want to rethink that!

And you want Spotify, too? Then you'll be needing our 'Premium Streaming Music Package' ... which is $7.50/month extra. And that's in addition to your Spotify fee. You do know there's Comcast Music, which is only an extra $2.00, right?

Wait, you don't just want to use Comcast Search Portal, free with your internet? It's chock-full of exclusive offers, available only to 'Your Comcast Internet' subscribers!

ANYways ... So, you actually want to go to ... GOOGLE? Huh!?

Well, with Your Comcast Internet Service, you CAN ... for merely an extra $10/month, as part of our Premium Search Package! (Disclaimer: Links to External Websites, not part of Your Comcast Internet Service, may not be visible and/or functional).

And you even want to be able to visit FACEBOOK? You do know there's Comcast Social Media, right? It comes WITH YOUR INTERNET! It's GREAT! ALL your friends are there! You should try it! I mean sure, we'll LET you go to Facebook ... and that's only an extra $10/month, but Comcast Social Media is where it's at!

And if you want the Pronz, well ... okay ... we don't have that, but that'll be $20/month extra. You'll also need to sign this waiver first ...

And oh, by the way, we have an exclusive agreement with Amazon, so we don't offer 'other places to shop' ... such sites aren't available on Your Comcast Internet Service. We're certain you'll enjoy your Amazon shopping experience, however. Please see Amazon for exclusive offers available only to Your Comcast Internet Service subscribers!

Also, that article that was critical of Comcast's business practices, that you heard about on Twitter ... yeah ... sorry, that article isn't available on Your Comcast Internet Service. You can, for the low, low price of only $200/month, however, have access to "ALL* THE INTERNET'!"

Did you want to sign up for our "ALL* THE INTERNET" Service? Operators are standing by!!!

Though, if that is too costly we do also offer a more budget-conscious 'News Politics' package, where you can visit sites such as the Washington Post, Breitbart News, MSNBC, Fox News, HuffPo, even Stormfront ... whatever is your fancy! It's our most popular plan, only an addt'l $30/month. Please contact our Operators to Upgrade Your Comcast Internet Service ... TODAY!

You get the friggin' picture? Elections ... have consequences ...

* subject to bandwidth limitations in any case where Comcast provides similar services, either for free, or a low addt'l price, and restrictions based on Exclusive Comcast Agreements, and other restrictions
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