My friend keeps sending me her "forwarded" thingies

Here's an example, she send me this stuff all the time:

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WE ALL GET OLD IN THE END...

I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People get out of the way much faster now.

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers. Now they drink like their fathers.

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you really like someone? That's common sense leaving your body..

I didn't make it to the gym today. That makes five years in a row.

I decided to stop calling the bathroom the “John” and renamed it the “Jim”. I feel so muchbetter saying I went to the Jim this morning.

Old age is coming at a really bad time. When I was a child I thought “Nap Time" was a punishment. Now, as a grownup, it feels like a small vacation.

The biggest lie I tell myself is..."I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."

I don't have gray hair; I have "wisdom highlights." I'm just very wise.

Teach your daughter how to shoot, because a restraining order is just a piece of paper.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would've put them on my knees.

Last year I joined a support group for procrastinators. We haven't met yet.

Why do I have to press one for English when you're just going to transfer me to someone I can't understand anyway?

Of course I talk to myself; sometimes I need expert advice.

At my age "Getting lucky" means walking into a room and remembering what I came in there for.

Actually I'm not complaining cuz I am a Senager. (Senior teenager) I have everything that I wanted as a teenager, only 60 years later.
I don’t have to go to school or work.
I get an allowance every month.
I have my own pad.
I don’t have a curfew.
I have a driver’s license and my own car.
The people I hang around with are not scared of getting pregnant.
And I don’t have acne.

Life is great. I have more friends I should send this to, but right now I can't remember their names.

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So she's a good friend and I don't want to insult her by asking her to stop sending them.

(The Onion) Swollen Rex Tillerson spotted rushing to place mouth over leaks

Cutest kids tell what does love mean to them?

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, 'What does love mean?'

The answers they got were broader, deeper, and more profound than anyone could have ever imagined.
See what you think:
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'When my grandmother got arthritis she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love.'

Rebecca- age 8
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'When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.'

Billy - age 4
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'Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.'

Karl - age 5
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'Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.'

Chrissy - age 6
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'Love is what makes you smile when you're tired.'

Terri - age 4
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'Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.'

Danny - age 8
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'Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and just listen.'

Bobby - age 7
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'If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate. '

Nikka - age 6
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'Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.'

Noelle - age 7

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'Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.'

Tommy - age 6
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'During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and
smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.'

Cindy - age 8
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'My mommy loves me more than anybody You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.'

Clare - age 6
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'Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.'

Elaine-age 5
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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.'

Chris - age 7
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'Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.'

Mary Ann - age 4
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'I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.'

Lauren - age 4
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'When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.'

Karen - age 7

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'Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn't think it's gross..'

Mark - age 6
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'You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.'

Jessica - age 8
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And the final one:

The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, 'Nothing, I just helped him cry'

Emoluments Hearing Hints At What May Be At Stake: Trump's Tax Returns

If there's one thing President Trump's critics want from him, and he refuses to give up, it's his tax returns.

The returns didn't come up during Wednesday's hearing in U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York in Manhattan. But the hearing was the first step in a process that could loosen Trump's grip on them.

If the next step goes the plaintiffs' way, the case could make the president's tax returns surface. Trump is being sued by four plaintiffs who allege he is violating anti-corruption provisions in the Constitution, namely, its Foreign and Domestic Emoluments clauses.

If Judge George Daniels says the plaintiffs have legal standing to proceed with the suit, they then can seek internal financial documents, including those tax returns.

"We will be looking for detailed financial records, foreign and domestic transactions, in the president's businesses," plaintiffs' lawyer Joseph Sellers told reporters after the hearing. "If the tax returns turn out to be relevant we may seek them."

Trump is the only president since 1977 to withhold his tax returns from voluntary disclosure. Unlike recent presidents, he has also refused to comply voluntarily with the federal conflict-of-interest law. Doing so would have forced him to separate himself from the Trump business empire.

Effort to address Allegheny County voting machine vulnerabilities faces hurdles

By Chris Potter
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette 10/20/17
cpotter@post-gazette.com

Link: http://www.post-gazette.com/news/politics-local/2017/10/20/allegheny-county-voting-machines-replace-common-pleas-petition-lawsuit/stories/201710200193

A grassroots effort to examine — and likely replace — Allegheny County’s voting machines has itself been struggling for lack of a vote. Its latest challenge came Friday morning in the courtroom of Allegheny County Common Pleas Judge Joseph James.

At issue is a 16-page proposal to establish a “voting process review commission,” which would study the county’s electronic voting machines and recommend replacements. Under the measure, supported by the League of Women Voters and VoteAllegheny, voters would have to approve a referendum to pay for any new equipment.

Activists fear that electronic touch-screen machines like those used in Allegheny County are susceptible to hacking — and that because those machines do not produce a hard copy of votes cast, there may be no way to get a reliable tally of votes.

Attorney Ron Hicks offered a different reading on state law and observed that, as with any legislation, council could either amend the proposal or simply vote it down. “At this point,” he said, “all we’re asking is that this be considered by council.”

It’s not clear when Judge James will rule. The judge, who joked about the length of legal briefs already filed in the case, urged both sides, “Please, no more.”

But activist David Tessitor, who helped lead the fight for the petition, said long delays could be dangerous.

October 21, 2017 - Today in history

October 20, 2017 - Today in history

October 19, 2017 - Today in History

Ever wonder why you can't walk your kitty on a leash?

Here's what happens:

New Keith Olbermann book to be released next week