Heartstrings
Heartstrings's Journal
Our democracy is slipping into fascism,
and Trump-enabling Republicans are leading the charge. If we don’t vote BLUE this November, America as we know it will be gone forever.
Vote like yours and your loved ones lives depend on it! #GOTV
This is how it went down.....
ALL THE WITNESSES: Ok we all agree. This is what happened.
REPUBLICANS: None of you were in the room!
BOLTON: *raises hand* Well I was in the...
REPUBLICANS: Who asked you?! Shut up! You’re a liberal pawn!
BOLTON: Um... I’m actually I’m a lifelong Republican and I was literally Trump’s national security advi...
REPUBLICANS: Shut your mustache! Somebody bring back the first national security advisor.
FLYNN: *in orange jumpsuit* Hey sorry guys I’m in jail lol.
REPUBLICANS: What? Why?
FLYNN: For lying to the FBI about the Russia investigation.
REPUBLICANS: Well what idiot told you to do that?!
FLYNN: The Pres...
REPUBLICANS: Shut up! No one believes either of you!
KELLY: *raises hand* I believe them. And I was Trump’s Chief of sta...
REPUBLICANS: Shut up! Let’s talk to the current chief of staff. Who is he?
MULVANEY: *raises hand* It’s me. Sort of. Well, I'm the act...
REPUBLICANS: Shit. Never mind.
PARNAS: *raises hand* I was also in the room. In fact, here’s a cell phone video of the President saying that...
REPUBLICANS: Wait what?! How in hell did you sneak a cell phone into a meeting with the President?
PARNAS: It was easy I just walked right in and...
REPUBLICANS: Shut up! You’re a criminal!
PARNAS: Correct. So I just walked right into...
TRUMP: I don’t know him.
PARNAS: And here’s 500 pictures of me with the President because we’re besties.
REPUBLICANS: Wait... What idiot introduced you to the President??
PARNAS: His personal lawyer.
REPUBLICANS: Cohen??
COHEN: *also in orange jumpsuit* Hey no sorry guys I’m in jail too. Oops.
REPUBLICANS: Why?
COHEN: For campaign finance violations.
REPUBLICANS: Whose campaign?
COHEN: The Pres...
REPUBLICANS: Shut up! Who was the campaign chair??
MANAFORT: *also in orange jumpsuit* Yeah. Me. Also in jail. Heyyyy.
REPUBLICANS: IS EVERYBODY IN JAIL?!?
PARNAS: It was Giuliani.
YOVANOVITCH: Giuliani! That’s the guy who had me fired from my job!
REPUBLICANS: Who are you??
YOVANOVITCH: I was the ambassador to Ukraine.
REPUBLICANS: Wait, you had her fired? Do you work for the government??
GIULIANI: Nope. But I figured no one really follows any rules around here so...
REPUBLICANS: Well who is the ambassador to the European Union??
SONDLAND: *raises hand* It's me. I was also in the roo...
REPUBLICANS: F@$&!!!
PUTIN: *rubs his bare chest*
These impeachment hearings are like...
if Sesame Street was trying to figure out if Cookie Monster ate all the cookies!
🍪 🖕 
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Member since: Sat Mar 11, 2017, 09:31 PMNumber of posts: 7,349
