She sits silently and looks out of her window
Slowly rocking back and forth
To a song from long ago
She gives a smile of remembrance
Flashbacks to days of independence
We shake our heads because we know
The words have disappeared from her so…

She sits with visitors from the past
Wistful memories that didn’t last
Cries because it all sounds the same
And though I’m here with her
Fear for her, cheer for her
Make long lost visions clear for her
She looks at me but can’t recall my name

Don’t tell me this was God’s plan
This was the destiny of man
Don’t tell me this was how it’s s’possed to be
Take your church and holy book
Take a good hard honest look
Then tell me this is some philosophy
Burn it straight into the ground
With no chance to turn around
Then tell me this is how you hope to be
When you reach the point where people turn their backs
Tell me that when everything turns black
Tell me that’s all you’ll want to see
Tell me you’re a liar

She rocks all day watching humming birds
At night she cries about the news she heard
weather that blew away some homes
The sky is blue with puffy clouds
She prays to God it’s over now
But hears of kids gunned down right to their bones

She takes a pill to numb the pain
Fears the thunder and the rain
Clings to me but doesn’t know my name
And so we laugh at 80s shows
5th time now but she doesn’t know
Every day is new in her mind
And though I try to fight the truth
We can’t return now to our youth
The daughter now the mother redefined
And slowly, always lonely, I stumble
Lost in time

Don’t tell me this was God’s plan
This was the destiny of man
Don’t tell my this was how it’s s’possed to be
Take you church and holy book
Take a good hard honest look
Then tell me this is some philosophy
Burn it straight into the ground
With no chance to turn around
Then tell me this is how you hope to be
When you reach the point where people turn their backs
Tell me that when everything turns black
Tell me that’s all you’ll want to see
Tell me you’re a liar

Watch the daily disintegration
Drowning with anticipation
Knowing that from here it just gets worse
Smile as you fein acceptance
Absent mind, you fake attendance
It’s not a blessing but a demon’s curse
You pray hard that it wont get worse
Practicing your lines and verse
Praying that your thoughts are never known
Now you’re on your own
As you hold your frozen smile
in this zone

She wakes up to the chirping birds
The same that every day she’s heard
But can’t believe it’s something that she’s known
I smile though I want to die
Choke down the tears I’d like to cry
But she’s a child now-I’m the one who’s grown
We’ll fight it on our own

She rocks back and forth and hums a tune
From way before my time
And I cry…


Quick Facts:
More than 6 million Americans are living with Alzheimer's. By 2050, this number is projected to rise to nearly 13 million.

1 in 3 seniors dies with Alzheimer's or another dementia. It kills more than breast cancer and prostate cancer combined.

In 2023, Alzheimer’s and other dementias will cost the nation $345 billion. By 2050, these costs could rise to nearly $1 trillion
https://www.alz.org/alzheimers-dementia/facts-figures

She sits silently and looks out of her window
Slowly rocking back and forth
To a song from long ago
She gives a smile of remembrance
Flashbacks to days of independence
We shake our heads because we know
The words have disappeared from her so…

She sits with visitors from the past
Wistful memories that didn’t last
Cries because it all sounds the same
And though I’m here with her
Fear for her, cheer for her
Make long lost visions clear for her
She looks at me but can’t recall my name

Don’t tell me this was God’s plan
This was the destiny of man
Don’t tell me this was how it’s s’possed to be
Take your church and holy book
Take a good hard honest look
Then tell me this is some philosophy
Burn it straight into the ground
With no chance to turn around
Then tell me this is how you hope to be
When you reach the point where people turn their backs
Tell me that when everything turns black
Tell me that’s all you’ll want to see
Tell me you’re a liar

She rocks all day watching humming birds
At night she cries about the news she heard
weather that blew away some homes
The sky is blue with puffy clouds
She prays to God it’s over now
But hears of kids gunned down right to their bones

She takes a pill to numb the pain
Fears the thunder and the rain
Clings to me but doesn’t know my name
And so we laugh at 80s shows
5th time now but she doesn’t know
Every day is new in her mind
And though I try to fight the truth
We can’t return now to our youth
The daughter now the mother redefined
And slowly, always lonely, I stumble
Lost in time

Don’t tell me this was God’s plan
This was the destiny of man
Don’t tell my this was how it’s s’possed to be
Take your church and holy book
Take a good hard honest look
Then tell me this is some philosophy
Burn it straight into the ground
With no chance to turn around
Then tell me this is how you hope to be
When you reach the point where people turn their backs
Tell me that when everything turns black
Tell me that’s all you’ll want to see
Tell me you’re a liar

Watch the daily disintegration
Drowning with anticipation
Knowing that from here it just gets worse
Smile as you fein acceptance
Absent mind, you fake attendance
It’s not a blessing but a demon’s curse
You pray hard that it wont get worse
Practicing your lines and verse
Praying that your thoughts are never known
Now you’re on your own
As you hold your frozen smile
in this zone

She wakes up to the chirping birds
The same that every day she’s heard
But can’t believe it’s something that she’s known
I smile though I want to die
Choke down the tears I’d like to cry
But she’s a child now-I’m the one who’s grown
We’ll fight it on our own

She rocks back and forth and hums a tune
From way before my time
And I cry…

I haven’t seen anything on the news, but my son called from U of Pitt to say there are violent protesters, mostly white supremacists, swarming the city and the campus, blocking traffic and campus walking paths. The REALLY bad guys aren’t there yet and many students are rallying to protect anyone that is in the crosshairs (LBGTQ+) but also anyone of color, but they expect the violence to ramp up. I’m absolutely terrified. They had a 5 pm curfew tonight, even for teachers, but I wish they’d go into lock down.
I’m over the edge! Anyone have any real thoughts that can pull me back, I’m all ears. Every time I hear of a school shooting, my heart freezes. And now they are right there-attacking the campus where my brilliant, amazing, miracle child lives.

100 Year Storm
Dedicated to Larry (My late husband)

Winds twirling to the east
A hot and wonderful cocktail
Thunder rolling toward me
I remember every detail

Lightening snapping behind us
Turbulence from the stormy sea
A summer tempest coming furiously
Somehow we could both foresee

Looking down the stairs at you
We’d opened up the floodgate
I warned you, “Don’t you fall in love.”
You knew it was too late.

Your ‘bad-boy’ grin was just an act
Your kindness reached my core
Our differences played harmony
First friends, eventually more

Sun baked our skin to red
Sandy feet
Burned barefoot trails
Starry nights cooled our dreams
I remember every detail

Some of us
We have the luck
For birth signs to align
To find ourselves
To be born
Right in the path
Of a hundred year storm
If it happens to you
Just let it exist
That thunderous love
You just can’t resist

That August day looking down at you
Your ‘bad-boy’ grin showed me my fate
I warned you, “Don’t you fall in love.”
We both knew it was too late.

And I.... I remember every detail.

#TrumpTreason

Wrote this as a song. At the end, I’ll post the link to hear the song. It’s an all black video except my knee makes an appearance at the end. 🙄 You’ll need to unmute right away. I had a hard time singing it, because my throat tightens when I’m emotional, so the singing isn’t great and I just started teaching myself guitar, but my idea came through. And in the last line it says “by my side” but it should be “ON my side.” I know it seems like it doesn’t flow, but with the music, it does.

Who Am I Now

I was once important
To the others,
Known for truth and wisdom
And for answers
I became person non grata
To everyone
Including brothers

Now I’m known for things I never did
Or said or even thought of
Oh no, mmmhmmm,
And the others either shun me
Or they come for me with pitchforks
They’ve gotten caught up
In the lies

So who am I now
What am I supposed to do
My family turned its back
As the others planned attack

Although it isn’t true
What they say
I guess it doesn’t really matter all that much anyway,
anyway

Who am I now
Who am I now
Who am I now
when my memories
Are called hyperbole

And the voices sound like thunder in my dreams
I’m awakened by the silence of my screams
In their gossip I’m a character I play
The curtain leaves them guessing
That maybe I’ve gone away

I Was once A teacher
And a learner
To this crowd
Pointing, they judged me guilty
But I can’t speak my pain aloud

So who am I now
What am I supposed to do
My family turned its back
As the others planned attack
Although it isn’t true
What they say
I guess the Truth never really mattered all that much anyway
Anyway

Who am I now
Who am I now
Who am I now
when my memories
Are called hyperbole

I Was once so happy
In this town
Until it turned around and let me down
This was once my family
Until they pushed me out
Now there’s nothing much to write home about

So who am I now
Who am I now
Who am I now
What am I supposed to do
My family turned its back
helped the others to attack
Although it isn’t true
Even to this day
all my memories
Are called hyperbole
How dare they define me
But the question that still brings me doubt
The thing that I still cry about
mmm-mmm-mmm

Is who am I now?
Who am I now?
Who am I now?
what am I supposed to do
Yeah, What am I supposed to do
Without you
On my side

Song:

I hope you all feel a little more pep in your step and and a little extra love in your hearts today!

And speaking of love, thank you for my Valentine hearts! I didn’t expect even ONE, but I think I have 5 now. They lifted my own heart and made my last few days special! 💕

two new hearts! Thank you so much!

I’m
Going down
to the bottom
Rock bottom
To the bottom
Of a glass
on the rocks

Can’t get higher
Than the smoke
Between my fingers
That lasts
long enough
To taste
Just like the fire
That lingers
just to waste
that precious air

And do you really think that I
Turn the other cheek each time
Smile when I want to cry
Wordless I just pantomime
And watch the hourglass run dry
Do you think that I am just a victim
Or a partner in your crime
And do you ever ask yourself why
I’m withering right before your eyes
Do you consider
that I might want to die

I’ve
Gone down
to the bottom
To the fire pits
To the bottom
Of hell
on earth

Can’t get higher
Than the heaven
To which I inspire
That I glimpse
long enough
To envision you
Just like a dream
That lingers
Like a beam
of precious light
Before night falls

Time ticks down
I feel numb to the change
Then with shock and shrill alarm
I awaken
Startled by the sound
Reality feels strange
Without you as the glue
Now I’m breaking

The hole inside my soul
And the dark within my heart
The roadmap of a journey
I’ve forsaken
Thought that once I cried
There would be a change of tide
I’d be strong enough to fight
I was mistaken

Can you hear me
When I’m screaming at the sky
Can you feel me
Feel me wither as I die
Do you see me
As I stumble through the dark
Your absence stains my path
Just like a blood mark

Sand slips through
Though the days never do
As the space in the hourglass
Is taken
I watch it slip away
And realize too late
My grip on happy endings
Has been shaken

The movie in my mind
That plays behind closed eyes
Is a silent motion picture
Without screens
It’s all in black and white
With wavy little lines
And I’m not even sure
What the gray means

Time has been ticking
But the movie replays
The love story leaves
My heart aching
Nothing seems to change
Reality feels strange
I remain in the darkness
As dawn’s breaking