OldBaldy1701E
OldBaldy1701E's JournalHas anyone else noticed this?
So, every time that I have to explain/describe/refer to my health issues, people seem like they do not believe me. I have discovered that some of this is because I can go into details about the issue and how it affects me. I can go into potential causes and possible side effects. Why? Because I am sick and only a freaking idiot would have an affliction and decide, "Well, I don't want to know about this thing that is going to ruin my entire life and destroy me in every way. I'd rather just enjoy the ride with my eyes closed!" I am sorry that most people think 'Me hurts' is enough to go on. The idea that someone who might actually be worried about what is going on in their lives and wants to learn as much as they can about it is trying to lie or being a insufferable prick because they 'know it all' (which I have never said or indicated at any time) is, in my opinion, partly why we are in the social situation we are in today. The day I see intelligence treated as a negative is the day I cannot deny our country is completely failing, if not already failed. And, I see it every single day.
The new thing... panic attacks.
I always suffered from forms of anxiety, but have never had panic attacks until the last year or so. Plus, with all the crap going on right now... lawsuits, injuries, lack of income so my husband and I can get the fuck outta this state. (Which is a funny thing. I know with my many issues and my lack of wealth, there are very few states where I would stand a chance of survival without state/federal help. Yet, the prospect of staying in a place where it has become apparent that NO ONE wants to be anywhere around me makes the aforementioned not as horrible sounding as it may well be. That is how badly I do not like it here. Four years of trying to make a friend up here showed me that it is not going to happen, so why stay in a place where one is not wanted?), I suppose this is not unexpected. So, with all of this going on, I am now having attacks. The quad bypass may not hold up to this. The constant pain is not helping. And, of course, the greatest country in the world could give two shits about me, since I am not making some oligarch richer. Please just let it end.
