Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search


Desert_Leslie's Journal
Desert_Leslie's Journal
November 18, 2020

Help! Political Comments from a "Friend"

I could use some DU help!

My husband and I are friends with another couple ... the wife, "Jane" I'll call her, is a die-hard conservative. She was leery about Trump before his election but has since gone whole hog. My husband is very good friends with her husband; they share an interest in biking, hiking, etc. We two couples have gone on a couple of vacations. I don't particularly want to blow up the relationship between us.

Now, I text and share like crazy with my like-minded Dem friends, but I made up my mind in 2015 to NOT engage in political discussions with staunch right wingers. Just don't have the energy or interest in "getting into it" with someone who is not going to change. So I never ever initiate anything political with anyone. Oh, other than that we don't have family gatherings anymore ever since one of my in-laws said that Middle Eastern people were "sand" and then the N word. Disgusting. Honey, you're not going to eat another morsel of my food, ever.

You know what's coming ....

In the weeks before the election, unsolicited, Jane sent me three videos over Facebook, one video alleging Biden was senile, one video alleging Senator Harris used the CA DOJ to mistreat an anti-abortion activist (hoo boy on that one), and then a video sticking up for Trump re election fraud.

Why send them to me? I have NEVER initiated a political talk with her -- no side comments, no snark, nothing. So I didn't acknowledge or reply.

Today she called out of the blue to wish me happy birthday. During a pleasant discussion, we talked about COVID -- she does acknowledge COVID and the need for masking since her daughter is a doctor -- Jane told me, "Yeah, California -- a liberal state -- is experiencing a spike too!"

I ignored it and we just continued talking.

BUT these little political bomb-lets she throws into discussions irritate the living hell out of me.

I'm the type of person who thinks of great rejoinders 3 hours after a discussion ends. And I would really rather NOT engage on this stuff, period. So my first thought is just to ignore whatever she says. Not engage. Because if I ask her not to talk politics, it would be her opportunity to say, "Who, me?" It would just hand her power. She would claim the high ground, so to speak.

And I have been holding back for so long I'm afraid if I start engaging, I'm going to end up in a screaming fight ... which won't solve anything or change minds.

As you can see, this is driving me just a bit crazy. As if I weren't crazy enough what with following breaking news 24/7 each day!

Does anyone have a good way of handling this type of situation? Thanks very much.

Profile Information

Member since: Sat May 4, 2019, 10:24 PM
Number of posts: 131

Journal Entries

Latest Discussions»Desert_Leslie's Journal