It is to laugh - Christmas Night Joke - Check your deliveries carefully!

A young man called Peter wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart’s Christmas present.

As they had not been dating for very long, after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves would strike the right note, not too romantic and not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart’s sister he went to Harrods and bought a dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself at the same time. During the wrapping, the shop assistant mixed up the two items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Without checking the contents the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

“Dear Maria, I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.
These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair that she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart even though they were a little tight on her. She also told me that her pair helps to keep her ring clean and shiny, in fact, she had not needed to wash it since she had begun wearing them.

I wish I were there to put them on for you for the first time, as no doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off remember to blow into them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming year. I hope that you will wear them for me on Friday night.”

All my love Peter.

I know this may not sit well with some here,

and I apologize in advance, but I am planning on giving the President a couple gifts this Christmas.

The first is a life-size beautifully hand painted portrait of Obama and Biden standing in front of the White house.
The other gift is a dildo.
So if he doesn't like the portrait, he can go fuck himself with the dildo!

It is to laugh - 'Twas the night before Christmas - of the crook that we fret -

as Orrex might ask - is the felon dead yet? (More funnies)

Thanx to all for hopefully enjoying these funnies and very Happy Holiday to you all!

It is to laugh - Christmas Eve Funnies

Bootleg CBS Censored Story bad for Presidunce...

shutting down the intertubes in 3...2...

It is to laugh - More - Ho Ho Ho - Winter and Christmas Text-ies

It is to laugh - Ho Ho Ho - Some Winter and Christmas Phunnies

It is to laugh - A real touching success story!

Every morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner for a shoe shine. He sits in an armchair, examines the Wall Street Journal and the shoe shiner buffs his shoes to a mirror shine.

One morning the shoe shiner asks the CEO: "What do you think about the situation in the stock market?"
The man answered arrogantly, "Why are you so interested in that topic?"
The shoe guy replies, "I have millions in your bank," he says, "and I'm considering investing some of the money in the capital market."
"What's your name? " asked the executive.
John H. Smith was the reply.

The CEO arrives at the bank and asked the Manager of the Customer Department: Do we have a client named John H. Smith? "Certainly," answers the Customer Service Manager, "he is a high net worth customer with 12.6 million dollars in his account."
The executive comes out, approaches the shoe shiner, and says, "Mr. Smith, I would like to invite you next Monday to be the guest of honor at our board meeting and tell us the story of your life. I am sure we could learn something from your life's experience."

At the board meeting, the CEO introduces him to the board members.

We all know Mr. Smith, from the corner shoe shine stand, but Mr. Smith is also an esteemed customer. I invited him here to tell us the story of his life. I am sure we can learn from him.

Mr. Smith began his story.

"I came to this country fifty years ago as a young immigrant from Europe with an unpronounceable name. I got off the ship without a penny. The first thing I did was change my name to Smith. I was hungry and exhausted. I started wandering around looking for a job but to no avail. Fortunately, I found a coin on the sidewalk. I bought an apple. I had two options, eat the apple and quench my hunger or start a business. I sold the apple for 25 cents and bought two apples with the money. I also sold them and continued in business. When I started accumulating a few dollars, I was able to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polish and started polishing shoes.

I didn't spend a penny on entertainment or clothing, I just bought bread and some cheese to survive. I saved penny by penny and after a while, I bought a new set of shoe brushes and polishes in different shades and expanded my clientele. I lived like a monk and saved penny by penny.
After a while, I was able to buy an armchair so my clients could sit comfortably while I shined their shoes, and that brought me more clients. I did not spend a penny on the joys of life. I kept saving every cent.

A few years ago, when the previous shoe shiner on the corner decided to retire, I had already saved enough money to buy his shoeshine location at this great place.
Finally, 6 months ago, my sister, who was a prostitute in Chicago, passed away and left me 12.6 million dollars."

It is to laugh - Probably should be in music but

wiht everything else, this seems somehow appropriate.

Orrex. We need a Drumpf National Lottery - it will pay off the National Debt

A hundred bucks a chance! (Two for 500!)
At his Alzheimer's, syphilitic, flatulent, mental depraved (and anything else you may add) terminal bedside:

The winner gets to pull the plug.