Throwing my hat in regarding the Wypipo controversy.

[PatrickforO]

50. I have a story...that may take some people out

of their comfort zone.

Background: I'm a white male, now aged 59 years. I'm educated and have been incredibly lucky in my life career wise and also family wise.

OK, so now the story:

Many years ago, when in my late twenties, I was a youth service worker for a summer youth employment program. This means that I managed cases of kids who were between 14 and 18, mostly, who had never worked and wanted a summer job. So, they would work half-time in a federal government subsidized 'job' called a 'work experience' that was designed to give them just that - some good work experience in a job they otherwise wouldn't be able to touch on their own. These were decent positions with local governments, mostly. We had kids working in animal shelters, in school bus barns, in libraries, and in offices. The other half of the day was spent in school - we at the time used a mastery learning system developed by Bob Taggart.

One the of the best worksites we had was in a city government building maintenance office. It was one of the best, not because of the work - basically general building maintenance - but because of the supervisor, a black man named W who was amazing with the kids. I mean, this guy was incredible. He really understood what we were trying to do with the young people and he really helped many kids over the time I worked with him (until Newt's lock-step House basically ended this program in 1995). At the time, W was in his late forties, probably, or maybe early fifties.

Anyway, I did a lot of driving, especially on days when I'd pick up timesheets so we could pay the kids, and I always liked to visit W.

So one day, I dropped by his office to pick up a kid's timesheet. This was maybe halfway through my day, and I still had a bunch of stops to make.

W asked me if I'd like to have lunch, and I replied, no I can't, I've got a bunch more stops - sorry.

The smile fled W's face and he backed up a step. Said he 'understood.'

I looked at him puzzled, and then with horror realized that he thought I refused because I didn't want to break bread with a black man. That wasn't the case at all, though, and I'd have been happy to have lunch on another day with him. But I didn't say anything because his face had clouded over, closed.

I've felt bad about that for many years now, because it was genuinely a misunderstanding. But be mindful - W was maybe 50 at the time and the year was maybe 1990. So he'd been born during the Jim Crow era and had lived it. He had seen the movement, the freedom riders, the heros who marched across Pettus bridge into vicious dogs, fire hoses and truncheon wielding cops. That was some sick shit, and I'm positive he had been singled out before by racists and had probably suffered because of it.

W is long gone now, and it is me - in my late fifties - telling this story.

If I had it to do over again, knowing what I know now, I would have said, "W, I didn't say 'no' because you're black and I don't want to break bread with you. I said 'no' because I have a bunch more stops to make and I'm in a hurry. Can we take a raincheck?"

I have a feeling that if I'd said that, things could have been OK, but I didn't. I was in my twenties, maybe just 30, and I'm so sorry that I was too freaked out at the time and let this stand. And I'm not blaming W for having a strong reaction, either. He is (was) who he is (was) and was a child of his time and his place of upbringing - which I don't know where.

But I would have been happy to have lunch with him. He turned so many young lives around with his excellent supervision and mentoring that it wasn't even funny. I mean, some of those kids, who came from very poor often dysfunctional families, are now leaders in the community, and I have a feeling that W played a big part in that.

My own take? Well, it is easy to self-justify, wring my hands and simply regret it. W is probably dead now, or quite elderly, and I have no idea where he is. The funny thing is, I've had a pretty solid career and I've genuinely tried to be a good person, to make the world a better place because I've lived. But this one little thing goes with about three or four other little things that are genuine regrets. I have often wished I could live that moment over, and say, "Sure, let's go!"

But I can't.