Like you say, I'm not depressed. Just not feeling it this year. And I am listening exclusively to the three Xmas stations; I'm a balloon twister so I'm making lots of Santas and Rudolphs at the parties I'm hired at and wearing my Christmas vests. Part of it is I'm in a crappy apartment that I moved into after my rental house flooded from a burst pipe expecting to start looking to buy a house, but I keep putting that off so I'm not trying out Christmas recipes because of the small kitchen (and I don't trust my oven - not just to cook right but not to kill me). Mom passed almost 4 years ago, and I miss her, and she was what got the family together. After she passed, two of my siblings and I decided to give the other one a break because her family's house was always used to get together, and we thought they would like to have some quieter Christmases after decades of hosting, but now it's kind of entered that phase where it would be nice to get together again, but we don't want to "invite ourselves" or put anyone in the position of saying no because they might already have plans. Then there's the whole Trump thing.
And I miss snow. We had a blizzard a few weeks ago, but the snow didn't stick around long. I know it's a pain, but my best memories of Christmas always had snow. Two of my favorite memories: First, brother and I were still young enough for games. We lived in a small farming community on the edge of town on an acre lot so we had a huge front yard. My brother and I were playing with one of the games we got that morning in front of the big picture window which faced west. The sun was going down so it was casting shadows and giving the snow a blue-ish tint, when two of the horses from next door galloped diagonally across the yard, happy to have escaped their confines and shaking their manes and kicking up snow. It was a catch-your-breath moment... Then Dad told us to get our coats on because we needed to go corral them. 
Second when I was in middle and high school, brother and I were paperboys. We had mo-peds with large chicken-wire baskets on the back of them that we used to throw papers at 3 in the morning. We would get nice tips from our customers - especially the older ladies who would give us baked goods. But I always looked forward to delivering on Christmas morning. After my brother and I split up on the streets to head to our different routes, it felt like I was the only one in town awake, and it was just so still especially if there was snow on the ground, and everyone would leave their lights on instead of turn them off. My route ended in a newer, richer part of town, and the lights were amazing. A few years, after I had delivered my papers, I stayed out an extra hour and drove around the rest of the town to see the rest of the lights. I would almost describe it as magical.
TlalocW
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