Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
31. Here' my unsolicited adviced
Wed Dec 26, 2018, 12:03 PM
Dec 2018

Whenever you choose a husband, or boy friend, you also get ALL his family, his job, his friends, his hobbies, his religion, his politics, his sports teams, his debts, his strengths and his weaknesses. You get the whole package. That's why people date and have long engagements. To have time to see what all is included in that whole package. You should count your blessings that you got such a wide view of what all is included in your BF's package. Knowing what you now know about his family, friends, and character, you can make a wise decision about whether to invest any more of your precious time and energy into such a man.

Sounds like you've made your decision that he just doesn't measure up to meet your needs. Treat yourself as a special person, because you are. You are a lovely, sweet, good-hearted person. There are plenty more guys out there, who would be thrilled to have a nice person like you as a GF. So go out this week, and do something that you like to do to celebrate the new open space that you've created in which to move on to your life's next great adventure.

Always remember, that it's not about the content of what happens in your life, but about what you tell yourself about what happens. It's all about your point of view. You can view it as a great woe-is-me tragedy, or as a glad I escaped from wasting my precious time with that guy comedy.

Always maintain a cheerful attitude.

and BTW: his sister was a rude uncouth asshole for deliberately making you feel uncomfortable in her home -- especially at a Christmas family meal. A gracious hostess ALWAYS endeavors to make guests feel welcome, comfortable, and at ease in her home.

Sounds Too Late For Advice ProfessorGAC Dec 2018 #1
Yup. NT duhneece Dec 2018 #7
+1 Kahuna7 Dec 2018 #55
I had some fun last night, too PJMcK Dec 2018 #2
Well Mr. Quackers Dec 2018 #3
I know. duhneece Dec 2018 #8
I'm not much on giving advice, but I think you should panader0 Dec 2018 #4
I needed to hear that duhneece Dec 2018 #9
Hope you took the prebought meal with you when you left... FreepFryer Dec 2018 #5
Chuckle: I took home several meals of leftover s duhneece Dec 2018 #12
Nice! Above all, get fed. (n/t) FreepFryer Dec 2018 #21
This message was self-deleted by its author LakeArenal Dec 2018 #40
Be true to yourself. Sounds like you were. Well done. Heal the hurt in your way and time. IADEMO2004 Dec 2018 #6
Whew. You can't know how much that means to me duhneece Dec 2018 #13
Yes, duhneece.. I like IADEMO's Cha Dec 2018 #69
You have to do what you have to do. Still, actions have reactions. MineralMan Dec 2018 #10
Honey, it's over. You want loyalty, he will/cannot do it irisblue Dec 2018 #11
You nailed it!!! duhneece Dec 2018 #16
Sounds like a group who use religions to promote their own agenda. WeekiWater Dec 2018 #14
Emotional pain can easily overcome rational thought ismnotwasm Dec 2018 #15
I realize now that he had begun moving away duhneece Dec 2018 #23
I suspect your Christmas was about average this year lunatica Dec 2018 #17
Maybe I am being naive, but I just don't understand an outburst like that from the sister after still_one Dec 2018 #18
Both Bob and ex girlfriend say she's unstable duhneece Dec 2018 #24
Oh, lots of right wing Christians will freak out like that. Mariana Dec 2018 #25
I'm sorry you were hurt, duhneece. Hugin Dec 2018 #19
Xochitl's win makes me smile even now duhneece Dec 2018 #20
Not worth the constant fight duhneece Dec 2018 #59
Thank y'all duhneece Dec 2018 #22
It sounds to me that deep down, you are sick of your boyfriend's shit and this was a manifestation. TheBlackAdder Dec 2018 #26
Sooner or later, people show you who they are and where their loyalties lie... Wounded Bear Dec 2018 #27
They sound nuts - do they live in a cave? harumph Dec 2018 #28
We just had Christmas without the family...to avoid our version of what you describe... Sancho Dec 2018 #29
The best type of Christmas, with the people you see everyday. sarcasmo Dec 2018 #62
Loyalty goes both ways doesn't it? qazplm135 Dec 2018 #30
Great insight. It made me think. LakeArenal Dec 2018 #45
This... as a general rule. defacto7 Dec 2018 #48
Here' my unsolicited adviced vlyons Dec 2018 #31
Trumpscum Act Like Trumpscum PaulX2 Dec 2018 #43
So maybe I should not Generic Other Dec 2018 #32
Sometimes we just want to stir the pot a bit...even if we promised ourselves we wouldn't. It's ok! UniteFightBack Dec 2018 #33
Should you apologize? OregonBlue Dec 2018 #34
My advice: SomethingNew Dec 2018 #35
There is a new year getting ready to start. TNNurse Dec 2018 #36
Fuck Him. You're Right louis c Dec 2018 #37
Nice! nt SWBTATTReg Dec 2018 #65
Exactly. Good job, louis! Cha Dec 2018 #72
I am of the opinion that we must speak up... louis c Dec 2018 #77
I think you're right.. I think duhneece's Cha Dec 2018 #78
However, I'm lucky that my wife and I are politically aligned... louis c Dec 2018 #80
You said just what I want most to hear. Nt duhneece Dec 2018 #81
It was hard and so brave.. I know pinboy Cha Dec 2018 #83
I suspect your ex has taken back up with his ex & the fight was an excuse to dump you. catbyte Dec 2018 #38
If I understand correctly, you went into a family gathering with your boyfriend, hughee99 Dec 2018 #39
In such a situation, both the (ex) boyfriend and the original poster should have excused themselves. Texin Dec 2018 #44
That probably would have been the easiest exit for the situation, hughee99 Dec 2018 #75
Gotta agree. cwydro Dec 2018 #46
yeah qazplm135 Dec 2018 #68
Well put sarisataka Dec 2018 #79
I'm sorry that happened regardless of who provoked it. Texin Dec 2018 #41
He did not stand up for you, he does not love you randr Dec 2018 #42
Under the guise I sending family pics to I asked all my righty family members to open air drop on Pepsidog Dec 2018 #47
Christmas dinner is the wrong time to argue about politics/religion. Using that event as a litmus jalan48 Dec 2018 #49
I agree. cwydro Dec 2018 #50
My sympathy for your situation. Caliman73 Dec 2018 #51
"I stoked the fires unnecessarily. I recognize I was pushing buttons. I couldn't help it." TexasBushwhacker Dec 2018 #52
This. cwydro Dec 2018 #54
there was a reason you quit dating him 40 and 20 yrs ago... samnsara Dec 2018 #53
Best I can say is, he'll probably get over it, forgive you... Kahuna7 Dec 2018 #56
Your behavior doesn't sound like it was all that 'provocative" whathehell Dec 2018 #57
Your (ex) boyfirend is better off without you. Kaleva Dec 2018 #58
Why did you do that? cwydro Dec 2018 #60
It turned out to be a gift duhneece Dec 2018 #63
True. Neither of you are or were meant for each other. Kaleva Dec 2018 #64
so it kinda sorta sounds like qazplm135 Dec 2018 #67
Sure does. cwydro Dec 2018 #70
Sounds like you were looking for a reason to dump him Revanchist Dec 2018 #76
Sounds like you are the odd person out in a cozy relationship. Blue_true Dec 2018 #61
Well, first of all, you simply quoted a bible passage. How they interpret it is solely up ... SWBTATTReg Dec 2018 #66
Perhaps you shouldn't have gone in the first place. Maru Kitteh Dec 2018 #71
I found this thread appalling Tipperary Dec 2018 #73
Agreed. Horse with no Name Dec 2018 #82
..... Kahuna7 Dec 2018 #84
Sounds to me like deep down realmirage Dec 2018 #74
One does the dirty work for two TexasBushwhacker Dec 2018 #85
She did pull the trigger realmirage Dec 2018 #86
I appreciate your compassion and understanding duhneece Dec 2018 #87
Just calling it like I see it : ) realmirage Jan 2019 #88
Latest Discussions»General Discussion»86'd on Christmas Day by ...»Reply #31