General Discussion
In reply to the discussion: 86'd on Christmas Day by (ex) boyfriend [View all]Maru Kitteh
(28,322 posts)Considering the high likelihood at 88 years of age that this was the last Christmas that gentleman will have - are you comfortable with your contribution to the atmosphere in his home?
Defending yourself against an attack is one thing but to provoke conflict is quite another, and why on Earth would you, on Christmas day no less, ask an elderly man to recount cruelties he suffered long ago? You wanted him to relive this cruelty for the purpose of backing you up in your conflict with his daughter?
If you couldn't stop yourself from provoking conflict, you should have gracefully declined the invitation to attend, citing work or volunteering or some other such excuse.
I think you should apologize, not for your feelings or sentiments, but for the time and manner you chose to express them. I think you should make this apology whether or not you repair matters and remain with the boyfriend. Make it clear your feelings about the topic are unchanged, but you are sorry for the setting and way you communicated. That's my advice.
This would provide you a base of trust and understanding to move forward with the boyfriend if you wish, and if you do not move forward with him, you will have the satisfaction of having made proper peace with the situation in doing the right thing.