When I started here, all there was was swamp. Other kings said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built it all the same, just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So, I built a third one. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp, but the fourth one... stayed up! And that's what you're gonna get, lad: the strongest castle in these islands.
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Now listen, lad. In twenty minutes, you're getting married to a girl whose father owns the biggest tracts of open land in Britain.
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'Erbert. We live in a bloody swamp. We need all the land we can get.
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Don't like her?! What's wrong with her?! She's beautiful. She's rich. She's got huge... tracts o' land!
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You even kicked the bride in the chest! This is going to cost me a fortune!
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Very nice castle, Camelot. Uh, very good pig country.
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Please! Hold it! This is Sir Lancelot from the Court of Camelot, a very brave and influential knight, and my special guest here today.
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Please! Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. We are here today to witness the union of two young people in the joyful bond of the holy wedlock. Unfortunately, one of them, my son Herbert, has just fallen to his death.
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But I don't want to think I've lost a son, so much as... gained a daughter!
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Since the near fatal wounding of her father (He's getting better!) For, since her own father, who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him. (Uugh!) (Oh, he's died!) And I want his only daughter to look upon me as her old dad, in a very real and legally binding sense. And I feel sure that the merger-- er, the union between the Princess and the brave, but dangerous, Sir Lancelot of Camelot--
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