"The deployment will be paid for by a private donation." (Noem sending 50 NG to Texas)

[gratuitous]

12. Dear Gov. Noem

I read with great interest the story that you're now renting out the South Dakota National Guard for mercenary purposes. Long story short, my neighbor has been getting on my nerves lately. Simply put, the cigar smoke and the loud music have reached intolerable levels.

Please provide a rate sheet for platoon, squad and battalion rentals, and let me know if any of the prospective mercenaries have any special needs (vegan diet, orthodox religious observances, etc.). Thank you in advance for your prompt response.

Yr friendly neighborhood
gratuitous