Around here that's really the only thing the little gangsters are interested in.
They've already got drugs and Playstations and they're not likely to find much cash, gold, or diamond jewelry in this neighborhood.
Most commonly I lose tools if I leave them out front unsupervised, usually if I'm working on my cars or gardening and I have to go inside for something.
I once lost a box of Christmas lights. I was getting ready to set them out when I heard the phone ring and went inside to answer it. When I went back out the box of lights was gone.
Who the hell steals Christmas lights?
It was just a few weeks ago someone last went through my car. Fortunately they didn't break any windows, maybe because the doors were unlocked. Broken windows DO piss me off.
Years ago someone broke into one of our cars but they didn't take anything. Instead they left a flashlight and a book of postage stamps which they'd probably stolen from a neighbors car'. I suspect I interrupted the thief when, thinking the noise was raccoons in the trash again, I yelled at our dogs in my most authoritative voice to shut the fuck up.
Our dogs are always alert for the four-legged variety of masked bandits. They hate raccoons and turn into snarling monsters whenever they see them, even when they simply smell them. Their opinion of coyotes is similar, but the coyotes are not so brazen as the raccoons. The raccoons will sometimes just look at you when you try to chase them off.
But maybe our dogs are not so good at recognizing bad people. The husky would invite anyone into the house.
"Kind stranger, could I trouble you to open the refrigerator and get me some cheese?"
It's the dragon any would-be burglar should worry about. I've found half digested guns in his poop.
We don't even talk about Doug around here. Beware of Doug. Which is one of the great The Far Side cartoons because it's true.
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