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jfz9580m

(15,544 posts)

79. I have been lucky in that regard

Fri Oct 4, 2024, 11:15 AM

Oct 4

Until about a decade ago, I had not even met any creeps (well I mean bus groping in my teens - the sort of thing that every female is sadly used to) but certainly nothing close to my actual life till I met a creep in 2014. I thought of him as a scientific mentor and he turned out to be a creepy guy. Thankfully, he had no power over me and I quickly left the place. That certainly left a foul impression for years afterward. I was especially taken aback as I was used to thinking of the mentor mentee relationship as sacrosanct (which it is).

I wouldn’t say it is like a parent-child relationship precisely, but in that respect it is.

I have worked only in scientific research/education and in those areas I have only met the better kinds of men (no Geoff Marcies etc.). I have generally had pretty cool mentors and so it was extra shocking.

I have had my share of very stressful interactions with street thug types (even posted about it here). But still while those encounters stressed me out a lot, it is not the same as the stuff you describe. That was more a case of people pushing the limits on how much you can annoy and creep out your neighbours.

But yeah I can’t even imagine a spouse/boyfriend or male relative (my family is pretty progressive in that respect) of this type. Creeps on the street are bad enough..Imagine having one right in your house. That would be hell...

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Highlight:

Watched a sickening drama unfold at a local grocery store the other evening. [View all] Midnight Writer Oct 3 OP

This gives me chills. Reminds me of my father. no_hypocrisy Oct 3 #1

So sorry MFM008 Oct 5 #104

Yeah, my recovery is in daily increments. no_hypocrisy Oct 5 #105

Reminds me of my Dad. redstatebluegirl Oct 3 #2

Reminds me of my ex husband.. slightlv Oct 3 #44

I will never forget how my Mom would lock herself redstatebluegirl Oct 4 #95

It is a reality claudette Oct 3 #3

All maga hate all Women...period. They hate them more when they cant control them. Eliot Rosewater Oct 3 #4

permission? DonCoquixote Oct 3 #26

Thanks because I usually make that point also Eliot Rosewater Oct 4 #91

I refused to date MAGA females ArkansasDemocrat1 Oct 4 #96

No one should have to live like that.... anciano Oct 3 #5

The American Oligarches are gonna trample men, but figure if men can abuse women, they won't see the root problem Attilatheblond Oct 3 #23

Best I can do is have hope. dslyahoo Oct 5 #102

Just fucking awful. OAITW r.2.0 Oct 3 #6

Read a report from the 90s about reasons for women to be hospitalized Attilatheblond Oct 3 #25

I'm an old white guy, not close to being perfect.....but OAITW r.2.0 Oct 3 #28

Know, dear sir, that there are women who have known you & your type, and appreciated you for that. Attilatheblond Oct 3 #31

On line betting is an efficient way of draining bank accounts. OAITW r.2.0 Oct 3 #34

Online betting is terrifying. robbob Oct 4 #84

"We just wish more were aware of how many abusers there are." OldBaldy1701E Oct 4 #54

I mean yes, but I just do not think this is a pat on the back not hitting loved ones. LizBeth Oct 4 #76

When my weight dropped so drastically... slightlv Oct 3 #45

You are 100% correct! And did a VERY important think to help give a hand up for sisters we never met. Attilatheblond Oct 4 #68

Thank you for the kind words. slightlv Oct 4 #98

You are a dear and worthy person and we all benefit from you sharing your experiences and lessons learned Attilatheblond Oct 5 #100

Reminds me of my first husband. mountain grammy Oct 3 #7

Mine too, he spent alot of money on alcohol, but I wasn't allowed to spend $20 on groceries Clouds Passing Oct 3 #13

Yep me too mountain grammy Oct 3 #19

That brought me very close to being physically sick. Think. Again. Oct 3 #8

This is why I like reading Reddit. People in these abusive situations are talked into / supported into leaving. BlueWaveNeverEnd Oct 3 #16

Yes, leaving an abusive relationship requires a lot of planning. SunSeeker Oct 4 #52

Its abuse. Nt Figarosmom Oct 3 #9

Totally explains DownriverDem Oct 3 #10

Hope someone got her name and a way to help her. KS Toronado Oct 3 #11

This was how my father treated my mother. llmart Oct 3 #12

That's the way it was with abusive, alcoholic step father. canuckledragger Oct 3 #14

I'm sorry you had to live with that dflprincess Oct 3 #18

You described my mother. slightlv Oct 3 #46

This is my mother, too. murielm99 Oct 3 #48

It's really hard... especially now that slightlv Oct 4 #99

I am so sorry for all the posters above who experienced this in their lives. tavernier Oct 3 #15

Yeah I second that.nt jfz9580m Oct 4 #81

Thank heavens for an empathic and intelligent manager... hlthe2b Oct 3 #17

How horrible. My father - who was pretty right wing - told me his father was this kind of guy, and thus my father... NNadir Oct 3 #20

The country needs to take domestic abuse more seriously. Law enforcement needs to take it more seriously. Martin68 Oct 3 #21

I think men would be happier, too, if schools had SEL classes of some sort in grade school lostnfound Oct 3 #42

SEL is what we're supposed to learn in a good history class, social studies class, literature class, art class Martin68 Oct 4 #83

Women have to be more respected in society, as a whole, slightlv Oct 3 #47

How distressing. I'm glad the manager made the right call. No one should have to live (exist) in fear. LoisB Oct 3 #22

Just Saying: If a case came up on a docket, where a beaten wife finally did something in order.. chouchou Oct 3 #24

To all of you who escaped, thank you for saying so. I had a roommate once who had escaped... Hekate Oct 3 #27

I used to do the same thing. And one of the first things I would do when niyad Oct 3 #37

;-( elleng Oct 3 #29

And if there is any love there, he must deep down know how awful he is. SleeplessinSoCal Oct 3 #30

This is what Republicans intend when they laud "trad wives" dlk Oct 3 #32

Reading this turned my stomach.......my biological father was the same kind of louslobbs Oct 3 #33

My wife would just murder me. byronius Oct 3 #35

Sadly, she is not in the mental state to do that. She lives in fear and terror. niyad Oct 3 #40

I had a plan as a child to grow up and get out. cpamomfromtexas Oct 4 #70

She may have kids. RandomNumbers Oct 5 #101

What in the first post identifies the controlling husband as MAGA? Aussie105 Oct 3 #36

Not "controlling". Abusive. And, yes, SOME women are DV perps, but not niyad Oct 3 #41

That is heartbreaking. OverBurn Oct 3 #38

That is sickening. Can't imagine how bad it can be. LiberalFighter Oct 3 #39

Trauma, secrets, lies, and neglect become transgenerational - add religious fundamentalism and authoritarianism, Backseat Driver Oct 4 #58

All that tells me about men like that is how PUNY they are, deep down inside. calimary Oct 3 #43

Smells like a religious extremist husband to me. roamer65 Oct 4 #49

D9nt make a mistake. Sometimes you dont even know if you do. MerryBlooms Oct 4 #50

I finally had to divorce my ex and the father of my kids. CTyankee Oct 4 #51

You just know he's beating the crap out of her when he gets mad. brush Oct 4 #53

An insecure bully who at his core is just a coward augyboston Oct 4 #55

Way back before the Y2K stuff came along, I was on a "prepper" forum. I liked to read the stories members wrote, mostly. mucholderthandirt Oct 4 #56

Never saw my parents exchange cruel words. Aussie105 Oct 4 #57

I bet the woman really appreciated the Thoughts & Prayers you sent Kaleva Oct 4 #59

This thread was not aimed at the young woman, and you know it. Tthere is not niyad Oct 4 #60

You can tell how a person feels about an event by how they respond to it Kaleva Oct 4 #61

Nice deflection, but it won't work. niyad Oct 4 #63

What would you have done in that situation. Kaleva Oct 4 #64

see post 63 niyad Oct 4 #66

A great non answer Kaleva Oct 4 #74

Keep trying. I truly need the laughs. niyad Oct 4 #75

How would Linda ladeewolf Oct 4 #71

Like I said, keep the one she mistakenly bought Kaleva Oct 4 #72

JFC, that post indicates absolutely NO comprehension, either of the post niyad Oct 4 #78

Are you advocating non-involvement? Kaleva Oct 4 #89

REMDI95 niyad Oct 4 #93

I'll take that as an affirmative then? Kaleva Oct 4 #97

MAGA want American Taliban IronLionZion Oct 4 #62

Man.. jfz9580m Oct 4 #65

You have been most fortunate if you have never encountered them. niyad Oct 4 #77

I have been lucky in that regard jfz9580m Oct 4 #79

Good on you jfz9580m Oct 4 #82

Around 1980 I was working in PA town. A woman shoved a knife through her husbands chest and he, well, died. twodogsbarking Oct 4 #67

That's unusual Warpy Oct 4 #85

Truly a sad, but daily tale of woe. 634-5789 Oct 4 #69

I'm surprised he let her out of the house without him, twice MorbidButterflyTat Oct 4 #73

They have to allow you to make mistakes so they have a "reason" to beat you. Maru Kitteh Oct 4 #88

Awful ProfessorGAC Oct 4 #80

I'd like drop her husband with baseball bat therapy Duncanpup Oct 4 #86

That was my ex-husband. I was severely beaten without warning. Maru Kitteh Oct 4 #87

Alas. Not limited to MAGA types ewest02 Oct 4 #90

Very true! I know of one abuser who is very leftist, into social justice, etc. Coventina Oct 4 #94

How terrible. I know that Thoughts and Prayers ran through my mind, as I read these, and it does. God, how my SWBTATTReg Oct 4 #92

Thank you for posting this account LetMyPeopleVote Oct 5 #103

This is a domestic abuse situation iemanja Oct 7 #106