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No Vested Interest

(5,156 posts)
10. I disagree somewhat with those who say separate completely
Fri May 31, 2013, 02:45 AM
May 2013

from your family.
I my mind, it's always good and wise to leave the slightest opening, if only to your mother.

Obviously, she (and they) are ignorant of your real needs and likely would continue to hurt you if given a chance.
However, for your own sake, keep in touch with your mother - on her birthday a card, just wishing her well and letting her know you are getting along. - Nothing wordy, not even a return address if you feel that's best. But that small gesture will help diminish the hole you have in your heart re your family.

I have seen in my extended family the hurt and harm that can not be undone completely because of all the time gone by and times unshared. Thankfully, healing has been done, but only after the death of the instigator.

Please continue to keep in touch via DU. There is much kindness and empathy here, and there are those that can suggest means. even though small to bring you to the fuller life you deserve. (And you do deserve that, I hope you realize.)

Thank you for this, Dreamsoldier76... CaliforniaPeggy May 2013 #1
Check out this group. rug May 2013 #2
I also want to encourage you to separate completely from your family of origin. SheilaT May 2013 #3
I could not agree more - you need a complete divorce from your family lunasun May 2013 #5
It's hard, very very hard. AtheistCrusader May 2013 #7
Same here. You can choose your friends, but not your family. FSogol May 2013 #32
I wish you lived nearer. tblue May 2013 #4
Thank you, Dreamsoldier. TDale313 May 2013 #6
I'm glad you shared this here KT2000 May 2013 #8
Ohana KauaiK May 2013 #9
I disagree somewhat with those who say separate completely No Vested Interest May 2013 #10
I have a personal saying airplaneman May 2013 #11
I’m a sober member of A.A. for many years. busterbrown May 2013 #12
AlAnon would be a great resource. Granny M May 2013 #15
Absolutely! busterbrown May 2013 #17
This message was self-deleted by its author busterbrown May 2013 #14
hey, I hear you DLnyc May 2013 #13
Some families are toxic and their children need to break ties with them Warpy May 2013 #16
.... handmade34 May 2013 #18
As one who grew up in an Le Taz Hot May 2013 #19
Hugs to you, Dreamsoldier magellan May 2013 #20
K&R B Calm May 2013 #21
You articulate well. GeorgeGist May 2013 #22
Hugs to you lunatica May 2013 #23
You may not realize it but Shankapotomus May 2013 #24
Welcome to DU. I wish you well. n/t Laelth May 2013 #25
... Arugula Latte May 2013 #26
You are not alone. And you have talent that can be tremendously helpful to others. nolabear May 2013 #27
I'm sorry you're hurting... redqueen May 2013 #28
Wow sagetea May 2013 #29
Two Spirit Rockyj May 2013 #31
Mawho (Choctaw) for 2 Spirits sagetea Jun 2013 #33
thank you for sharing noiretextatique May 2013 #30
I love you buddy DonRedwood Jun 2013 #34
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