You are VERY heroic. Only a few weeks after your hysterectomy, still weak and in pain from major surgery, you pulled your mother off the bed to do CPR. Rest assured, dear brave soul, your mother knew how great your love and courage were in that moment, and it eased her passing to know that she had raised such a great soul! Major surgery alone inevitably makes it physically difficult for people to do their best thinking, and you sound like a person whose best thinking is usually extremely good. Take heart, and wait for recovery, and you will be able to see what to do just as you have all your life. Incidentally, maybe that heroic act would have delayed your recovery from surgery, and this bleeding/CA elevation setback you mentioned is only temporary? I do not mean to presume to know what you should do, but I bet you are not the first person in your area to be in your situation, and there should be a bunch of people nearby who should do something for you. Maybe show up in person, so they can see how your strong character is propelling you even in your current weakened state. The suggestion above to seek out the hospital social worker is a wise one, and I urge you to call a lot of agencies, churches, etc., until somebody helps you. As for your husband, well, maybe he is a perennial wilting flower, or maybe he will come to his senses and do better by you. You deserve better, and so do your four beautiful children. Someday, you will be recovered, and your children will be grownups. They will remember your heroism, your courage, your perseverance. They will remember your love which nurtured and guided them. And so will you!
= new reply since forum marked as read
