General Discussion

Nevernose

(13,081 posts)

39. I believe those parents are the minority

Wed Oct 23, 2013, 11:05 PM

Oct 2013

Parents who are horrified, or at least will take action, are in the minority. Kids don't become bullies naturally, nor do they learn it from friends (whom they spend very little time with. They learn it from their parents, and parents who are bullies are not usually receptive to criticism.

For an interesting read, I suggest Queen Bees and Wannabes. I got a lot of insight into female bullies from that when my own daughter was being bullied.

(And for the record, my kid never actually did anything to stop her bullies. She did, however, have a friend who loved her and happened to be totally fearless. When that kid stood up for my kid, the bullying stopped forever, my kid learned how to stick up for herself, and I am forever indebted to that weird little girl from the dysfunctional family that literally saved my daughter's life)

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

46 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

Bullying yesterday and today...what's the difference? Comparison and contrast. [View all] SummerSnow Oct 2013 OP

I put one into the hospital when I was ten Warpy Oct 2013 #1

I popped the little bastard in the eye NV Whino Oct 2013 #6

I fought this girl in the 6th grade. She was a persistent bully. I pushed her down.. SummerSnow Oct 2013 #2

That which is never spoken of is unheard of. Bluenorthwest Oct 2013 #3

Exactly! n/t etherealtruth Oct 2013 #9

This. hunter Oct 2013 #12

I just shut down and limited my interactions with other kids csziggy Oct 2013 #18

I can recall a single moment of Schadenfreude in my life... hunter Oct 2013 #29

This message was self-deleted by its author tenderfoot Oct 2013 #4

Years ago, a suicide by a kid (or an adult, for that matter) was often hushed up, The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2013 #5

I totally agree with you SummerSnow Oct 2013 #17

The difference is automatic weapons. mainer Oct 2013 #7

All of the first, second, third, and fourth grade jumped on the eighth grade Downwinder Oct 2013 #8

Aside from disagreeing with the premise .... etherealtruth Oct 2013 #10

I think you hit the nail square on the head, "when I was young a bully could not post a RKP5637 Oct 2013 #26

The biggest difference is that there was less access to guns where I grew up. nt kelliekat44 Oct 2013 #11

I think that bullies have greater access to a number of new tools which make their actions more effi LanternWaste Oct 2013 #13

Part of your answer nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #14

K&R!!! Excellent! n/t RKP5637 Oct 2013 #27

I am envisioning the scene..... llmart Oct 2013 #15

Cyberbullying distantearlywarning Oct 2013 #16

In my high school (early '60s) there was this thing called a "slam book." The Velveteen Ocelot Oct 2013 #21

Zero tolerance and "conflict resolution" legcramp Oct 2013 #19

I seriously doubt that many mandatory boys' P.E. coaches have been opposed to . . . radicalliberal Dec 2013 #46

I never backed down GP6971 Oct 2013 #20

Yeah, I didn't back down. At least not too often....... socialist_n_TN Oct 2013 #22

In my experience Egnever Oct 2013 #23

Me too GP6971 Oct 2013 #30

Society allowed us to fight !!! RagAss Oct 2013 #24

I dealt with bullies they way my father taught me. William769 Oct 2013 #25

I often wonder as I age if the bullying will start again. n/t RKP5637 Oct 2013 #28

I don't have to ask nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #31

I've always been pretty self sufficient, able to somehow keep my head above the water and RKP5637 Oct 2013 #33

Well, some just face nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #34

Yep, sadly that is the way. ... I've often thought capitalism encourages bullying as RKP5637 Oct 2013 #37

Yup nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #38

I guess I am out of step with all of you dem in texas Oct 2013 #32

That is actually part of the answer nadinbrzezinski Oct 2013 #35

Exactly! IMO parents are generally the root cause of bullying and should be RKP5637 Oct 2013 #36

I believe those parents are the minority Nevernose Oct 2013 #39

A little hell raising and conflict are good dem in texas Oct 2013 #40

I made it clear that he better grow eyes in the back of his head. nt rrneck Oct 2013 #41

My older son, now 30, was bullied some in grade school SheilaT Oct 2013 #42

fantasy dream sequences in bed about how I would beat the shit out of the bullies Pretzel_Warrior Oct 2013 #43

I strove to become better than them in every way. a la izquierda Oct 2013 #44

When I finally had enough, HappyMe Oct 2013 #45