Bullying yesterday and today...what's the difference? Comparison and contrast.

[SheilaT]

42. My older son, now 30, was bullied some in grade school

in part because he was small for his age, in part because he looked different (totally bald because of alopecia areata from age 4) and in part because he was very smart when it wasn't cool to be so smart.

We moved him to a private school starting in 7th grade and it made a huge difference for him. Being smart was a good thing there, looking a little different didn't matter, and he eventually grew up to a normal size -- 5'11".

I honestly think that the very biggest difference these days is the Internet. It seems as if that's used as a tool for bullying. I will say that I do not understand why kids being bullied on facebook don't just close that account and totally ignore it. Except that I'm a very old adult, not part of that culture, so I can't possibly understand what it is like for kids these days. I will say that if my kid were being harassed on the internet, I would both close down whatever accounts I could for my kid, and contact the parents of the bullies. When my kid was being bullied, we did contact the parents of the worst offender (and trust me, it was all relatively mild) assuring the parents that we were certain they wouldn't put up with such behavior from their child. They were genuinely shocked that their kid was behaving that way, and their kid stopped picking on our kid.

Again, this was nearly 20 years ago, and things are very different today. It behooves parents to monitor as much of their children's behavior as they possibly can.