I buried my youngest son yesterday

[calimary]

384. It just gave me such a sense of - I dunno - a sort of inner support? Hard to put it into words

most appropriately.

This is a website. A chat room. So, okay then. I think I have personally met exactly TWO of the multitudes of people who posted here. But there are soooooooooooooooo many others here with whom I've had various exchanges and conversations. But I was so incredibly touched by the reaching-out that was done that night. And so much of it! How many DUers appeared on that thread, with such kindness, comforting words, caring and loving messages, honest compassion and sincerity, such supportive thoughts - and they don't know me and I don't know them. But in another sense, they do and I do. We have this strange and wonderful and sustaining connection here on DU. It shows itself really powerfully at times like this. Like a big box of loose pearls. But you look closer, and maybe you reach in to pick one up, and suddenly you notice they're not loose pearls at all. They're strung together and as you lift one, the others come along with it. Loosely and with some of that almost invisible fishing line that's not immediately apparent until you look closely.

I still cherish the memory of that whole intimate little DU experience. It was late that night. My husband and kids had gone to bed. I was awake. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't shut my mind off. The whole funeral thing (and more) lay ahead, and I wasn't looking forward to any of it even with all the time we'd had to prepare emotionally, 'cause as I said earlier, we all knew it was coming, and soon. And there was no one to talk to. Felt kind of alone there. So as usual, I went online and came here - just sort of an automatic thing I always do anyway. I posted a brief one and then figured that was that.

But it wasn't. Within seconds, there was a reply. SECONDS! Then another one. Then some recs. Then more replies. Suddenly there were dozens of each. And it just grew from there. By the next morning, WHOA! I had to scroll and scroll and scroll to follow them all. I had no idea. No idea. I CANNOT describe, adequately, what that meant.

When I say I love DU, it comes from WAY DOWN DEEP in the heart. And it's clearly here for you now, Oilwellian - and I LOVE-LOVE-LOVE to see that. Just reinforces how I feel about DU, yet again, and it comforts me a little bit, too, all over again.