Now (long)

[Beringia]

8. It was good

that you offered this boy something he could use, his unlimited options, how he gave control to people he did not trust. I think there is a strong force in our culture that tells us we should always be submissive or listen to our parents, maybe also coming from the bible, to honor our parents. But there is a difference between honoring I suppose and letting a parent psychologically harm us, (everyone easily sees how physical harm is wrong) or realize the parent is incapable of really transmitting good values about our own self worth.

Even as an adult, I find myself "blaming" my parents, but in fact you are right, it is really me giving them control. I have a relative who died of a heroin overdose. Both of his biological parents were no good for him. I sometimes think how in the world I would have overcome his obstacles. I wish I were wise enough to have imparted some knowledge like you did about "locus of control", but I really don't understand it completely myself. Something to nurture though, that idea of control.