General Discussion

liberalmuse

(18,881 posts)

163. I have a few friends married to "good" men...

Sat Aug 16, 2014, 01:12 AM

Aug 2014

Their husbands work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, come home and chill. Sometimes they'll fix things on the weekend or mow the lawn once every few weeks after being nagged to death. The women I know work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, leave work, go grocery shopping, make dinner (and breakfast), take the kids shopping for clothes and to practice, feed the pets and take them to the vet, do all the housecleaning, pay the bills (two of the hubbies don't like paying bills) and do a myriad other things. I can't imagine why any woman would leave this situation. Every single married woman I've met so far has said at some point they wouldn't do it again. Maybe I'll run across someone who tells me differently one day. I suppose many men leave good women, so seeing the reverse isn't so surprising.

Edit history

Please sign in to view edit histories.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

183 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

"Why Great Husbands Are Being Abandoned" [View all] Harmony Blue Aug 2014 OP

People fall out of love. bravenak Aug 2014 #1

Yup. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Aug 2014 #3

Lots of folks rush things too much. bravenak Aug 2014 #7

We didn't live together prior to getting engaged JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #15

You certainly dated a lot more than me. Erich Bloodaxe BSN Aug 2014 #20

I never JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #23

It was back in the day... Erich Bloodaxe BSN Aug 2014 #30

Hubby and I met online. He was divorced, liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #85

That is a cool story! hifiguy Aug 2014 #95

Are you kidding me! JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #116

I do believe there are several liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #125

That is so cool! JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #140

I have been single after 16 yrs of marriage for nearly as long (HEY I married young!!!) VanillaRhapsody Aug 2014 #129

Your husband's a lucky man BainsBane Aug 2014 #123

Aww, geez, you're making liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #126

DH and I are planning Bettie Aug 2014 #135

And they fall out of love at different times. Kurska Aug 2014 #13

That is so hard to leave somebody that you like, not love. bravenak Aug 2014 #33

I divorced my husband for the same reason. blueamy66 Aug 2014 #61

... SammyWinstonJack Aug 2014 #71

Aww, i'm feeling you. bravenak Aug 2014 #76

Passionate romantic love doesn't last aint_no_life_nowhere Aug 2014 #83

Also, other men are very poor judges of how their friends treat the women in their lives. Warpy Aug 2014 #142

Please tell me that this article is a reprint and originally ran in 1958 Orrex Aug 2014 #2

Nope!! bravenak Aug 2014 #4

She joeglow3 Aug 2014 #47

I though he was a grasseater. bravenak Aug 2014 #48

You are correct. seaglass Aug 2014 #75

Thank you. bravenak Aug 2014 #77

The author of the article was a female joeglow3 Aug 2014 #166

Yes I know. And the OP is male. n/t seaglass Aug 2014 #178

Notice that the verb in that sentence is "finds". nt redqueen Aug 2014 #53

Seek and Ye Shall Find .... Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #161

It's from Psychology Yesterday betsuni Aug 2014 #148

The section that nails it JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #5

I got married at 23 and it lasted 'til death did us part this year. I'm 64. Thus endeth the lesson WinkyDink Aug 2014 #12

You are like my mom JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #17

This message was self-deleted by its author Courtesy Flush Aug 2014 #35

Exactly my thoughts joeglow3 Aug 2014 #49

No - I won't JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #58

I'm sure winkydink IS an adult JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #51

This message was self-deleted by its author Courtesy Flush Aug 2014 #56

It was the married at 23 JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #60

That is BS and you know it joeglow3 Aug 2014 #167

No it was not JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #172

It is a well balanced article Harmony Blue Aug 2014 #155

I think labeling anyone you don't live with and don't really know and are not in a relationship with djean111 Aug 2014 #6

"they�re dumping men who are faithful, attentive, and respectful"---Who says? Not to mention there WinkyDink Aug 2014 #8

This message was self-deleted by its author Courtesy Flush Aug 2014 #52

Who is "we"? nt redqueen Aug 2014 #59

This message was self-deleted by its author Courtesy Flush Aug 2014 #62

Well, goody gum drops for you! liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #88

This message was self-deleted by its author Courtesy Flush Aug 2014 #91

You didn't. mimi85 Aug 2014 #109

Thank you. a la izquierda Aug 2014 #176

she is talking about clients who use her services. Mosby Aug 2014 #122

LOL- " donning armor to fight the dangers that threaten his family and place in the world?" bettyellen Aug 2014 #9

You are the best! JustAnotherGen Aug 2014 #26

Thanks darling! bettyellen Aug 2014 #27

LOL ismnotwasm Aug 2014 #10

This seems to describe people who have an unrealistic view of what sort of partner they want. nt el_bryanto Aug 2014 #11

It would actually be a stronger article if it were about people marrying without winter is coming Aug 2014 #16

Yes - that's better said. el_bryanto Aug 2014 #24

But it's not only women who have unrealistic expectations. winter is coming Aug 2014 #28

Psychology Today is good at that liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #89

"the female dream"???!!! I don't need to read the article for more bilgewater. WinkyDink Aug 2014 #14

Truly this article is so much bullshit. Insulting to both men and women. Because my husband is a seaglass Aug 2014 #18

I agree n/t fishwax Aug 2014 #146

yep d_r Aug 2014 #169

Yawn Mr Dixon Aug 2014 #19

...or no pastures at all. cyberswede Aug 2014 #32

sounds good Mr Dixon Aug 2014 #39

There's no such thing for the countless men seeking the perfect mate, either. nt cyberswede Aug 2014 #40

Really Mr Dixon Aug 2014 #42

No. I was merely providing the yin to your yang. cyberswede Aug 2014 #43

LOL Mr Dixon Aug 2014 #54

Hate to burst your fairy-tale liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #90

Had the potential to be an interesting article. stevenleser Aug 2014 #21

I cringe when I hear a woman say she just wants a man to protect her... Tikki Aug 2014 #22

What a load of nonsense off the top of someone's head. Someone not all that bright. Squinch Aug 2014 #25

LOL = Psychology Today has jumped the shark with this. Thanks for the chuckles. n/t Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #29

I wasn't even surprised to see this garbage from PT kcr Aug 2014 #36

I haven't looked at PT in years. Looks like I haven't been missing much. Maybe, a laugh or two Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #50

PT jumped the shark liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #92

I haven't seen one in years. Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #162

"abandoned" cyberswede Aug 2014 #31

Sometimes great people are abondoned because they have no intention of marrying. tridim Aug 2014 #34

Define "Great Husband". Is that what someone else thinks he is? haele Aug 2014 #37

YES! Best post here. alp227 Aug 2014 #93

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence ... dawg Aug 2014 #38

Exactly. Men have to stop the Damsel fantasies johnlucas Aug 2014 #84

What? cyberswede Aug 2014 #96

I'm talking about in the context of a relationship, cyberswede johnlucas Aug 2014 #111

How did you learn all that?! A-Schwarzenegger Aug 2014 #124

My eyes & ears. Observation. johnlucas Aug 2014 #173

Here come of the flames...I liked the article. avaistheone1 Aug 2014 #41

If by "flames," you mean critical replies, then they arrived along before your post #41. cyberswede Aug 2014 #45

They aren't critical of the article, as far as I can see. sibelian Aug 2014 #74

I see several critical of the article. cyberswede Aug 2014 #78

does she give any empirical evidence to this? or is it a case of truthiness? La Lioness Priyanka Aug 2014 #44

The number of emotionally laden descriptors says "truthiness". n/t winter is coming Aug 2014 #63

yeah. i had a feeling. La Lioness Priyanka Aug 2014 #66

mostly truthiness, with a healthy dose of codswallop fishwax Aug 2014 #136

OMG what utter bullshit! redqueen Aug 2014 #46

Just my opinion ... dawg Aug 2014 #57

Paula Cole over there wants to know where all the cowboys have gone. Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #134

"Perhaps these androgynous couples..." And perhaps and perhaps... too fucking stupid. Luminous Animal Aug 2014 #137

Why do I suspect a man wrote that? MineralMan Aug 2014 #55

No, just an older woman whose views haven't changed much with the times. nt redqueen Aug 2014 #65

So it certainly seems. MineralMan Aug 2014 #68

Most women are still invested in maintaining the patriarchy. redqueen Aug 2014 #70

I suppose. Not most of the women I know, but MineralMan Aug 2014 #72

I'm curious, OP, as to what your motivations for posting this here are YoungDemCA Aug 2014 #64

seeing as mercuryblues Aug 2014 #138

He was also the first to Rec his own thread. Mind you, I have been the fifth to Rec on some of my Tuesday Afternoon Aug 2014 #160

How does this argument coincide with the grasseater lifestyle? BainsBane Aug 2014 #67

Why is it called the "grasseater" lifestyle? redqueen Aug 2014 #73

Wikipedia BainsBane Aug 2014 #81

Yeah, it seems ro have different meanings. Seems to me the MGTOW should stick with that term. redqueen Aug 2014 #86

She assumes the 'female dream' is to have a 'great husband' leftstreet Aug 2014 #69

Horsepucky wryter2000 Aug 2014 #79

"Female Dream" Glassunion Aug 2014 #80

And that's why Marriage is Dead. If you want someone to count on, get a dog johnlucas Aug 2014 #82

I could tell you why... sendero Aug 2014 #87

Yes, because no man has ever left liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #94

lol... Blue_Roses Aug 2014 #120

lol redqueen Aug 2014 #100

I can't help but notice BainsBane Aug 2014 #103

I've noticed that too. redqueen Aug 2014 #110

Marriage has evolved considerably over the centuries BainsBane Aug 2014 #97

Because they rec their own threads. Starry Messenger Aug 2014 #98

Ha, that reminds me of the one time I did that... redqueen Aug 2014 #99

You aren't suggesting anyone else might be a hypocrite, are you? BainsBane Aug 2014 #101

Heavens, no! redqueen Aug 2014 #105

Yeah, quiet in this thread today, isn't it? Starry Messenger Aug 2014 #102

Glad no one was around when I read that... redqueen Aug 2014 #106

Results of your Jury Service. NYC_SKP Aug 2014 #113

Holy shit, juror 4... redqueen Aug 2014 #114

... NYC_SKP Aug 2014 #118

Good gravy, someone liberalhistorian Aug 2014 #154

They're like Detroit! Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #104

"Female dream" MadrasT Aug 2014 #107

Well, I doubt that I am a great husband, riqster Aug 2014 #108

I can't help it, I have to laugh some more at this shitfest... redqueen Aug 2014 #112

I am still trying to get past "The veritable saint with balls is as elusive as ever." I need to seaglass Aug 2014 #131

Saint Balls is my favorite saint. Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #133

I went to that island d_r Aug 2014 #170

I am TOTALLY changing my online dating user name to that! bullwinkle428 Aug 2014 #151

This message was self-deleted by its author BainsBane Aug 2014 #141

From a member of the group that brought you the diagnosis of nymphomania. merrily Aug 2014 #115

People are trading in their cell phones on a monthly basis ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2014 #117

Serial monogamy loyalsister Aug 2014 #119

I'm still trying to piece together just exactly Blue_Roses Aug 2014 #121

Marriage is an outdated, counterproductive institution tabasco Aug 2014 #127

Sigh DonCoquixote Aug 2014 #128

"the female dream" Skittles Aug 2014 #130

Is a saint with balls apparently. :-) n/t seaglass Aug 2014 #132

Santo De Juevos Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #145

That article is just dumb treestar Aug 2014 #139

Yep, VERY dumb. Surprisingly devoid of anything resembling data. nt stevenleser Aug 2014 #143

I only mind when they're left out on the front lawn to rust on cinder blocks. Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #144

Is there a reason you posted this MRA fapfiction on DU? nt LeftyMom Aug 2014 #147

This is actually originally from the Harmony Blue Aug 2014 #153

gladly DonCoquixote Aug 2014 #157

So why are you using clickbait from the sideboobpost? You still haven't said. LeftyMom Aug 2014 #177

"ideal marriage"-is subjective Chimeradog Aug 2014 #149

Why Great Thread Is Being Abandoned A-Schwarzenegger Aug 2014 #150

I call BS on this entire article. Nt abelenkpe Aug 2014 #152

Heck I just smacks my wimmen around and rolls 'em over at night, and they don't give me no problums. Zorra Aug 2014 #156

This article is basically "nice guy whining" repackaged into a crumby psychology hack-job. chrisa Aug 2014 #158

It makes me think this woman is seriously enmeshed with her male patients. winter is coming Aug 2014 #159

I have a few friends married to "good" men... liberalmuse Aug 2014 #163

Why are you asking this? It is so not true! akbacchus_BC Aug 2014 #164

I divorced my first wife. I initiated the proceedings. LloydS of New London Aug 2014 #165

It's the "I want it now" generation. Separation Aug 2014 #168

Um..... so WHICH generation, precisely, is that? Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #171

Ill be the first to admit when I am wrong. Separation Aug 2014 #179

Right on. Warren DeMontague Aug 2014 #181

My "great husband" divorced me clyrc Aug 2014 #174

This is interesting and important. k&r for exposure. Laelth Aug 2014 #175

Who are all these women who are dumping great husbands, and why am I not Lydia Leftcoast Aug 2014 #180

I not only dumped the first husband (after 7 years of marriage) mnhtnbb Aug 2014 #182

I'm not sure I'm a "great," husband, nilesobek Aug 2014 #183