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moriah

(8,311 posts)
51. Considering that we're still waiting to have my mother's Episcopal funeral service...
Sat Oct 17, 2020, 07:56 PM
Oct 2020

... and she died in June, I think it's not unreasonable to ask that you either have a smaller wedding if you must marry right away (then have the big celebration later), or delay such a large wedding.

Fortunately my mother's having converted as an adult to the Episcopal church (confirmation and everything, even did lay Eucharistic ministry since she already worked in a hospital) and having bought a spot in their columbarium answered many questions for us about what we would need to do (her death was not from COVID-19, at least not directly, but because of prevention protocols we could not participate in her care and she was never told directly that she was dying -- by the time that staff member could get to her, her mental status had deteriorated beyond where they felt her competent to make her own decisions).

I feel for those whose faith traditions do not accommodate things like cremation, and while it has been agony to not have the closure of a funeral... her extended family includes other older people, some on immunosuppressants. It wouldn't be safe for them to attend as most live rurally and are attempting the social isolation only people who live 30 minutes from a town with a chain grocery store can.

Plus, well, Mom's role as a lay Eucharistic minister and our experience with being forced through long Baptist sermons and complementing how well the undertaker did (Mom *specifically* did not want a viewing, well, thank goodness for us) makes me want to show that side of her family the full funeral rites of the faith she came to as an adult. She didn't tell us exactly how she'd want an Episcopal service to go, but when we found her Books of Common Prayer, she'd circled the readings she wanted in her paperback version. And until it's safe to share the common cup, the local diocese is not allowing the full Eucharist.

When they deem it safe for people to share a common cup, it will be safe enough for the people she loved and who loved her to celebrate her life without risking joining her prematurely.

How can you have a decent wedding Chainfire Oct 2020 #1
LOL! nt Kahuna Oct 2020 #32
This is, honestly, NOT "your closest friends" brooklynite Oct 2020 #49
Does everybody bring a gift? Chainfire Oct 2020 #72
Our entire country should be doing what he's doing! Thekaspervote Oct 2020 #2
It would be if the russian mob hadn't taken over our government PSPS Oct 2020 #5
Chumputin will have a fit over this! SheltieLover Oct 2020 #9
If the mob hadn't taken over, we'd be well past the crisis spooky3 Oct 2020 #18
Bingo. paleotn Oct 2020 #29
Exactly. orangecrush Oct 2020 #41
This!👆 SheltieLover Oct 2020 #8
Fines and jail time for these selfish assholes. Lars39 Oct 2020 #3
No one knows 10,000 people personally muriel_volestrangler Oct 2020 #4
"I have five friends and three of them are not allowed in my apartment" Skittles Oct 2020 #12
LOL Love that line. Who said that? SunSeeker Oct 2020 #27
dunno, a comic on TV Skittles Oct 2020 #28
I remember the routine, in the context of a wedding registry More_Cowbell Oct 2020 #52
OMG you are correct! Skittles Oct 2020 #66
So funny .... CatMor Oct 2020 #30
I'm guessing that it's a Hasidic wedding involving the son COLGATE4 Oct 2020 #33
She looks very unhappy, or is that the body moonscape Oct 2020 #47
She is supposed to be reflecting on the seriousness COLGATE4 Oct 2020 #59
Ah, thanks! n/t moonscape Oct 2020 #60
I understand the printer at the Darwin Society became overheated and broke. 3Hotdogs Oct 2020 #58
The only woman I see is the bride. Lars39 Oct 2020 #62
Men and women are strictly separated. COLGATE4 Oct 2020 #63
Barbaric pfitz59 Oct 2020 #65
That's what I enjoy about DU - the interest in not COLGATE4 Oct 2020 #68
Well spotted, Colgate4 Hekate Oct 2020 #74
Mediaeval? No, those old timers knew how to do weddings! JustABozoOnThisBus Oct 2020 #70
Excellent! Thanks! COLGATE4 Oct 2020 #79
Dunno... looks like they're having fun. When is it? 3Hotdogs Oct 2020 #67
Funny. Jetheels Oct 2020 #39
It's probably cultural. qwlauren35 Oct 2020 #13
You can fit 10,000 people in an arena if they all sit down in rows muriel_volestrangler Oct 2020 #17
You can also qwlauren35 Oct 2020 #71
Years ago my uncle and many friends were having moonscape Oct 2020 #48
There is an enormous Hasidic community in Brooklyn NellieStarbuck Oct 2020 #44
Interesting. That video of the wedding was something I've never seen before. BComplex Oct 2020 #64
Facebook friends. JudyM Oct 2020 #45
I'm Betting That's A Hasidim Wedding Me. Oct 2020 #6
Me, too. Here's one from YouTube COLGATE4 Oct 2020 #34
No women? catchnrelease Oct 2020 #42
The celebrations are separate Warpy Oct 2020 #54
Ah, I see. Thanks! n/t catchnrelease Oct 2020 #57
The men and women are totally separated.The bride is not supposed to show COLGATE4 Oct 2020 #61
Here's a big Brooklyn mask burning last week IronLionZion Oct 2020 #40
I Saw That On The News Me. Oct 2020 #43
who in the hell would want 10,000 people at their wedding? hlthe2b Oct 2020 #7
I agree! SheltieLover Oct 2020 #11
Different strokes for different folks. qwlauren35 Oct 2020 #14
Totally agree. If I had to do it over agsin, I would elope. SunSeeker Oct 2020 #26
Being somewhat introverted, I would have a hard time coming up with... 3catwoman3 Oct 2020 #10
Must be a wedding pyramid scheme Shermann Oct 2020 #15
My money is on that the son or daughter of one of the Hasidic Rebbes is getting married. madaboutharry Oct 2020 #16
That sounds about right electric_blue68 Oct 2020 #20
how much do these kinds of events cost? 10K people? u would need an arena to hold that many people. onetexan Oct 2020 #73
10,000 wow. dewsgirl Oct 2020 #19
Who's stupid enough to hold a 10,000 person event in the middle of a raging pandemic? Initech Oct 2020 #21
Oh yeah...the dude that was impeached that's still committing criminal acts!... Illumination Oct 2020 #24
A Majority Of Them Are Self Avowed Trumpers Me. Oct 2020 #37
With signed waivers of course. keithbvadu2 Oct 2020 #69
If they each give $100 that's a nice wedding haul soothsayer Oct 2020 #22
You bet! Worried2020 Oct 2020 #53
What were they thinking?... Illumination Oct 2020 #23
I can see it jmowreader Oct 2020 #25
10K? paleotn Oct 2020 #31
Usually It's A Marriage Between 2 Powerful Rebbes Children Me. Oct 2020 #38
I'm just happy I'm not the bride's dad. JohnnyRingo Oct 2020 #35
The Hasidic Community in Rockland County Miigwech Oct 2020 #36
Thanks, Miigwech... Hekate Oct 2020 #75
To add to this Sgent Oct 2020 #77
Very interesting. The late Rabbi that knew my late father in law had many sons, & on holidays... Hekate Oct 2020 #78
Sounds about right Sgent Oct 2020 #81
The only people who have 10,000 wedding guests are mafia dons and Kardashians. Nt Fiendish Thingy Oct 2020 #46
And Hasidic rebbes. The sect in the video are, I believe, Satmars, although their hats marybourg Oct 2020 #50
Considering that we're still waiting to have my mother's Episcopal funeral service... moriah Oct 2020 #51
10,000 people??? Beacool Oct 2020 #55
Who does this! Rebl2 Oct 2020 #56
Idiots, that's who. sakabatou Oct 2020 #76
holy shit! orleans Oct 2020 #80
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