Michelle Obama doesn't attend state funeral for Jimmy Carter

[OMGWTF]

27. George Carlin was so prophetic and right-on.

"Bi-partisan means that a larger than usual deception is being carried out."

"I'm pretty sick of church people. You know what they ought to do with the churches? Tax them. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everyone else. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate."

"The real owners, the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all of the important decisions. They've long since bought and paid for the senate, the congress, the statehouses and city halls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying to get what they want. I'll tell you what they don't want. They don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don't want a well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking."

"Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky and they will believe you. Tell people paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure."

"Boy those conservatives are really something, aren't they? They're all in favor of the unborn. They will do anything for the unborn. But once you're born, you're on your own. Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to nine months. After that, they don't want to know about you. They don't want to hear from you. No nothing. No neonatal care. No daycare, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare. Nothing. If you're pre-born, you're fine. If you're preschool, you're fucked. Conservatives don't give a shit about you until you reach 'military age'. Then they think you are just fine. Just what they've been looking for. Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Pro-life, pro-life, these people aren't pro-life, they are killing doctors! What kind of pro-life is that? What? They will do anything they can to save the fetus, but if it grows up to be a doctor, they just might have to kill it. They're not pro-life. You know what they are? They are anti-woman. Simple as it gets, they are anti-woman. They don't like them. They don't like women. They believe that a woman's primary role is to serve as a brood mare for the state."

"Here's all you have to know about men and women. Men are stupid and women are crazy. The main reason that women are crazy is that men are stupid."

"Respect is taught at home. If your kid is a disrespectful little shit, it's your fault. Not society's. Not music, not video games. Yours."

"Conservatives say that if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us that they have lost all incentive because we've given them too much money."