My heart is breaking [View all]
My sister's husband is dying right now. She just got covid, so, can't see him for 10 days. He is losing lucidity. Eliza and Henry (pseudonyms) are 7 years older, so, mid 70s.
In 1965, Eliza was accepted to an elite women's college in New England. She was a modern dancer, natural artist, musician, singer, actor, dancer, brilliant. We were a middle class family, so, I don't know how my parents afforded it!
A year later, in her sophomore year (I was a rough and ready, independent 14 year old), she had a crushing nervous breakdown. What ensued was years and years of hospitalizations, heavy medication, even - I think - electroshock therapy. I saw her try to commit suicide by lighting her dress on fire.
It was the 60s - way, way pre-enlightment. There was shame, secrecy, grappling with insurance coverage. No one ever discussed any of it with me - ever! These are all the details I really know. There was no family counseling...
She never entirely recovered, though she was functional. I think she's had like 40 jobs! She is smarter than anyone I know. I believe she was diagnosed szichzophrenic. I don't believe she continued with any medication or therapy herself. She married this sweet guy - who is now dying - her rock. They had 2 sons, one of whom himself has now been hospitalized with mental health issues, the other with whom I had a recent heartfelt conversation - our first and only (so far) about his painful childhood.
It strikes me how much luck and serendipity loom so large in people's lives. There but for..what? I can't really say.. fortune? go I. She isn't bad or wrong. She apologized for being crazy for decades! My heart aches..
I'm on the other side of the country. I left that home in the 1970s to start over out west. I had to, to save myself. So, I'm quite distant from her, but I do what I can to remain supportive and engaged in their lives.
Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'll find a good listening ear and likely even some insight here.
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