I used to think if I could live in a different location, I would be so happy, and I’d be different.

[Tobin S.]

7. The problem with that kind of thinking, and I used to think like that, too,

is that when we are thinking that way we are usually trying to escape something. That can be good if you are in an abusive situation. But what if what you are trying to escape comes along with you? I'm not talking about a person, but what is in your head- your past, your mind, your emotions.

I became a truck driver when I was 24 and having severe emotional problems. I thought of it as my great escape from where I was. A guaranteed job and miles and miles between here and wherever I wanted to go. And it was great at first. Then it all caught up with me. I was 500 miles from home when I broke down. I had the right idea with putting distance between myself and a bad situation, but I was emotionally and intellectually unprepared to deal with what had happened to my mind.

It turned out that I had bipolar disorder and I eventually got the proper treatment for it. But even after my brain chemistry was under control I still had to deal with those demons. I was 1500 miles away from home when that started to happen.

I think I've got it all under control now. I moved away permanently a few years back and got married. It's different here. It's better. But it's mostly due to me being in a better place inside my head.