Thanks for asking about me Callmecrazy, and others, it means a lot. I've been doing OK. A lot better actually this past month or so than the months that preceded it.
Honestly a big part of the reason I have stopped posting is due to shame and guilt over my current situation. I don't feel I deserve to post right now. That and while I've been slightly better recently I've been overall too fragile emotionally to want to wade into the morass that is your average internet forum, even one as nice as this. It's difficult to explain my emotional problems and frankly I don't understand them myself all that well. They aren't usually of the acute emergency variety nor do they stem from any obvious reactionary source. They are more a life long issue, going as far back as my toddler years, a mixture of some form of personality disorder, social anxiety and avoidance and some form of more existential anxiety and depression. As such they aren't well understood by many as I usually seem like a normal, well rounded person with no possible good excuses for his issues. They haven't prevented me from for example taking that trip to Hawii, though I struggled with guilt about this a lot. They have been serious enough though to prevent me from building any semblance of a normal life. And I do sometimes enter some very very dark periods, such as 5 or 6 months ago.
My intentions have been to remain on hiatus here until I've managed to build something of a working life and feel guilt free enough to post again. Util such time I'm likely to remain fairly silent. I may post photo's from time to time such as the last batch, as photography is one of the few passions I still have that I feel strongly enough to overcome these feelings.
Thanks for the concern everyone.
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