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In reply to the discussion: Tell me a joke. [View all]
 

rug

(82,333 posts)
5. David's parrot
Tue Jun 17, 2014, 04:22 PM
Jun 2014

David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren't expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.

David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness." David was astonished at the bird's change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, "May I ask what did the chicken do?"

Tell me a joke. [View all] DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 OP
What did the snail say when it rode on the back of the turtle? Aristus Jun 2014 #1
Thank you. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #2
ok NightWatcher Jun 2014 #3
Okay. Yuck I hope he sat on his turds and did a food job rsising yhem DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #7
raising them I meant. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #8
What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? MrMickeysMom Jun 2014 #4
Ha. Ha. Finally got that. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #11
David's parrot rug Jun 2014 #5
Good one. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #17
How many computer programmers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? UrbScotty Jun 2014 #6
I like that one. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #9
Irish Wedding SkatmanRoth Jun 2014 #10
Good one. Thank you. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #12
Why men wear earrings SkatmanRoth Jun 2014 #13
Ouch. Self piercing under duress. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #18
The Sunday Paper SkatmanRoth Jun 2014 #14
If it were only just a senior moment. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #19
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Jenoch Jun 2014 #15
Eeeeeewwwww! But cute. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #20
It seems that Rumsfeld was briefing Bush on the Iraq War... First Speaker Jun 2014 #16
Not. Funny. So. Sad. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #21
eye doctor tells a guy he needs to stop masturbating Skittles Jun 2014 #22
and they wish they were blind. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #24
Guy goes to the doctor..... A HERETIC I AM Jun 2014 #23
That one is really good. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #25
That is funny. Had to post it to fb. mnhtnbb Jun 2014 #41
Cannibal at the circus. Ptah Jun 2014 #26
Whats brown and sounds like a bell?  Jenoch Jun 2014 #27
Dang. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #28
The first time I heard that joke, Art_from_Ark Jun 2014 #45
Wow, you are really old. Jenoch Jun 2014 #46
So is my dinosaur Art_from_Ark Jun 2014 #47
My favorite... Boxerfan Jun 2014 #29
Reminds me of an old Moms Mabley joke.... A HERETIC I AM Jun 2014 #30
heheheeheeheheeeee! mithnanthy Jun 2014 #64
Two Ukrainians. Jenoch Jun 2014 #31
The green grocer (video) sakabatou Jun 2014 #32
Yuk yuk. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #35
thanks for the laughs Danmel Jun 2014 #33
Q: What are the strongest days of the week? Lady Freedom Returns Jun 2014 #34
Yay! A joke I can tell my students. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #36
'Why aren't there new Jonestown jokes being told anymore? Jenoch Jun 2014 #37
Took me a second... Ineeda Jun 2014 #38
What if soy milk is just regular milk introducing itself in Spanish? Raven Jun 2014 #39
So a baby seal walks into a bar and says KamaAina Jun 2014 #40
Two cows were standing in a field... kairos12 Jun 2014 #42
I like that one. Thank you. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #43
What's brown and sticky? Jenoch Jun 2014 #44
That's wonderful. That will really piss off my students hoping for nasty. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #49
A horse walks into a bar and sits down. Special Prosciuto Jun 2014 #48
Why can you never starve in the desert? Jenoch Jun 2014 #50
Ted Cruz... TexasTowelie Jun 2014 #51
when he loses the election. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #52
I heard this from a Barnard student - LiberalElite Jun 2014 #53
Hardy. Ha. Ha. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #54
At the time I heard it LiberalElite Jun 2014 #55
I understand. I delight in telling every stupid thing my Hahvahd educated brother has ever done. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #56
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a grape? Xipe Totec Jun 2014 #57
An East German worker gets a job in Siberia... Gravitycollapse Jun 2014 #58
Very cute. Adversity necessitates a good sense of humor. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #61
What's the difference between a pheromone and a hormone? Jenoch Jun 2014 #59
My friends who teach middle school will like that one. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #60
My mother was a fifth and sixth grade teacher. Jenoch Jun 2014 #62
Thank you for telling her story. That's a mother to be proud of. DamnYankeeInHouston Jun 2014 #63
What do call a.... discntnt_irny_srcsm Jun 2014 #65
ok ohnoyoudidnt Jun 2014 #66
What do you do with an Elephant with 3 balls? A HERETIC I AM Jun 2014 #67
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