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In reply to the discussion: At what point do you cut ties with a toxic family member? [View all]haele
(12,647 posts)You can love someone but not trust them. I hate that saying "it is what it is",but that's your nephew. Just be aware what he is, accept he believes what he's going to believe, and try to anticipate what he's trying pull.
Don't let yourselves be his tool; you need to set the boundaries of interactions and stick with them, even if he lets his Angry Monster (as we call it in our house)run unchecked. If you choose to do anything for him, it's because you see it as a need and the act is controlled by you, not because he says he needs something or gets your sibling to ask for him.
Don't fix his problems for him.
Let his folks know that even though you love him, you don't trust him and will require verification for any support he might ask you for. So he's going to be mad at y'all on occasion.
He may grow out of it, but he may not. You need to be the consistent adult in the relationship, even if he can't be.
Haele