Andrea Leadsom to stand down...

[LeftishBrit]

30. I'm increasingly reminded of Hilaire Belloc's 'Lord Lucky'

Lord Lucky, by a curious fluke,
Became a most important duke.
From living in a vile Hotel
A long way east of Camberwell,
He rose, in less than half an hour,
To riches, dignity and power.

It happened in the following way:
The Real Duke went out one day
To shoot with several people, one
Of whom had never used a gun.
This gentleman (a Mr. Meyer
Of Rabley Abbey, Rutlandshire),
As he was scrambling through the brake,
Discharged his weapon by mistake,
And plugged about an ounce of lead
Piff-bang into his Grace's Head——
Who naturally fell down dead.

His heir, Lord Ugly, roared, "You Brute!
Take that to teach you how to shoot!"
Whereat he volleyed, left and right;
But being somewhat short of sight,
His right-hand Barrel only got
The second heir, Lord Poddleplot;
The while the left-hand charge (or choke)
Accounted for another bloke,
Who stood with an astounded air
Bewildered by the whole affair
—And was the third remaining heir.

After the Execution (which
Is something rare among the Rich)
Lord Lucky, while of course he needed
Some help to prove their claim, succeeded.
But after his succession, though
All this was over years ago,
He only once indulged the whim
Of asking Meyer to lunch with him.



Modern version:

Theresa, by a curious fluke,
Became a sort of modern duke.
From being loved not one small bit,
And mostly called: 'That ghastly twit!'
She rose in what seemed just an hour
To be the obvious one in power.

It happened in the following way:
The Real P.M. went out one day
To chat with all his cronies, one
Of whom was keen to jump the gun.
This fellow, Boris of the Johnsons,
Who loved to talk a lot of nonsense,
Tried to lead us all off a cliff.
He thought we'd not all jump - but if
Enough folks followed him, with them
He'd stage a coup - and be PM.
A glorious defeat might make
Him ruler - but quite by mistake,
He won! - and off the cliff we fell
And David Cameron fell as well.


His heir, George Osborne, cried, "I guess
I'd rather NOT clear up this mess!"
And ran and hid quite out of sight.
Boris exclaimed 'I'm now all right!
Knives in their backs have won! - Alack!
I feel Gove's knife now in MY back!'

Gove thought he'd be the last one standing,
But others with knives were now commanding.
He stood with an astounded air,
Bewildered by the whole affair -
Was there now one remaining heir?


The Tories found someone so awful
That even May looked almost lawful:
'Prime Ministers? We need to get some.
At least she's not that dreadful Leadsom!'
Theresa, though she hadn't needed
To win the people's vote, succeeded.
But even a genius or a saint
(Two things which our Theresa ain't!)
Would find it very hard, I guess,
To clear up This Almighty Mess!!!