I have found that if you type more than two hundred words or so people just don't read it. You are right, it is incredibly complicated. Hence the remark about a two way street.
The physics of the matter remain. If you don't live long enough to reproduce, you lose and so does your DNA. A hard world demands hard people. Have you ever noticed that a lot of girls who like "bad boys" really like boys who are bad to everyone but them? Of course sometimes they make a mistake and marry an abusive asshole. And how many women have you heard say that they watch how a man treats wait staff at a restaurant when out on a date? Of course under those circumstances, when servers (servants) are bringing you food at issue is much more about social status than survival. People eat at restaurants when times are good.
Armchair anthropology to be sure and I of course have no research or data to support it. But does it sound at all fair to blame the male gender for all the bad shit humanity has done? Is the female gender really the font of all that is truly good in the human species? Does that make sense? Or is it possible that we are all human, male and female, and the exigent circumstances that surround our existence play a decisive role in how we treat each other in order to survive?
How many men do you know who really care what kind of kitchen faucet they have? I can't think of a single one of my acquaintances who gives a rip about the aesthetics of kitchen hardware. So why is there an entire "wall of faucets" at Home Depot? And drawer handles? And doorknobs? And rugs? And paint colors? As Rita Rudner said once, "men are just bears with furniture". So why did we make all that stuff? To make the women happy so we will get laid.
The horrible injustice of illegal abortion or rape is that women have the right to choose with whom they have sex and whether or not to carry a pregnancy to term. Those choices are their right as females. Thus, aggression in the interpersonal relationships between mates has no place at all. Hence all the fancy home furnishings. Making a nice place for the woman means the man is investing time and energy in the relationship, an indication he will stick around to help rear the child. (Please note the last block quote from Wiki.) Aggression in defense of the home is another investment.
Sure, men have done horrible violence for any number of reasons and will continue to do so. But I sometimes wonder how many of our environmental problems would be solved if women (although men are certainly not blameless here) decided they didn't need all the affectations of modern living.