Obama: Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) "Won't Open the Gates of Hell" [View all]

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Obama: Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) "Won't Open the Gates of Hell"
Source: The Nil Admirari

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WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Nil Admirari): President Obama reassured Americans on Sunday afternoon the secretive Trans-Pacific Partnership (TPP) agreement being negotiated behind closed doors by corporate lawyers and unavailable for review by legislators in Congress "won't open the gates of hell." The president admitted he could understand such concerns and stated, "Just because the Republicans in Congress finally agree with me on something and will help me get this thing fast tracked through Congress does not mean it is completely rotten from the inside out or the gates of hell will open on various places on Earth."

"It is no secret the Republicans have tried to block every piece of significant legislation I have supported and they will likely be voting to hand over their authority to modify or even debate the TPP legislation," said a shrugging Obama. "Why can't we all just be happy about this rare moment of bipartisanship and ignore the fact my administration won't allow anyone not negotiating the TPP to actually read a draft of the agreement?"

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When pressed by a reporter from Fox News about many Democrats in Congress being opposed to the TPP, the president conceded his party was having a little tiff over the free trade agreement. "Yes. I admit some Democrats don't agree with my administration on the TPP, but let's not make a big thing about politicians like Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders standing in opposition to it. They clearly don't stand for economic justice and the middle class like the GOP does."