THE sure-fire way to predict who will win the Presidency [View all]

[BainsBane]

Last edited Tue Aug 4, 2015, 02:04 PM - Edit history (1)

Forget the polls, statisticians, and odds makers. There is one incontrovertible fact in modern American politics. The candidate with the best hair always win the presidency. Here is the proof:

2008



2000



Here you may be thinking, Gore has more hair than Bush. Alas, the bad dye job did him in. Strategery. Keep it natural.

1992





And who could forget the originator and master of the modern political do, Ronald Reagan.

?


So you ask, what does that mean for our current crop of Democratic candidates. Who will come out on top?


Hillary Clinton, blond and expertly coiffed.



Martin O'Malley, trim and all-American

?

Or Bernie Sanders, the fringe* candidate?


*Brilliant graphic by the late and much beloved Jackpine Radical.



But wait. You think you've got a handle on the current crop of contenders? You do not. The election season is still young, and the Beltway is a buzz with news of impending entrance into the race by a candidate whose hair puts all pretenders to shame. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you our next president of the United States: