I'm new and I've been going through this with my Mom. She's in assisted living now - I could no longer take care of her Alzheimer's at home. Luckily she saw her attorney before she really started sliding downhill. The problem is that my siblings - who are far away geographically - only give a damn about her money (which isn't much). And one is doing what she can to prevent Mom from being qualified to collect a certain benefit.

Why do family members get so shitty?

I can heartily second your advice to prod your parents to make legal decisions before it's too late. I also agree to contact local aging services your area might have. Find out which agency does Meals on Wheels for elderly folks and go from there - usually there is a wealth of services people are barely aware of.

I addition, if you're taking care of your parents as their caregiver, look into any caregiver support services like a support group. You need care too. Even when they go into a facility, you still are most likely involved in being their advocate. If you're stressed out, you can't care for them to your best ability.

I look forward to talking with others going through this. It can be a lonely world when you're going through this.