Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search
Joe BidenCongratulations to our presumptive Democratic nominee, Joe Biden!
 

Hekate

(90,189 posts)
18. It might depend on your age. Second-wave feminists were tough Athena-women succeeding ...
Fri Sep 13, 2019, 07:42 PM
Sep 2019

...in a man's world, and the battle-advice they gave the rest of us really had that flavor. How well I remember it. "Find a mentor" -- really? How is that even done? "You can do it all/you can have it all" -- Pardon me, but what a crock of shit that was for most of us.

And of course, never show weakness in the business or academic world.

They spoke a different language than I was brought up with. Feminism felt so right, so just, but I wanted to be a mother and raise children at home, and when I was thrust untimely into the work-world with a BA and 2 toddlers to support I looked around my town and ended up as a secretary. Every day I felt like a failure, at home for not being there for my kids and at work for not knowing how to get beyond where I was.

But my musings aside: No, it was not safe to share our stories. It was not safe to have difficulties with child care. It was not okay to take time off work to care for a sick child. It was not okay to get phone calls at work for any reason (and there were no cell phones).

I thought my problems were because I was so low on the totem pole that people had no respect for me and my job, and if only... And then I ran into (almost literally) a young physician tearing out of the day care center, and was told by the caregivers that she had the exact same problems at the clinic where she was employed that I had at the university where I worked. Our mutual problem was being female and being mothers, not who had achieved more academically or who had better focus on a career.

Hillary Clinton is my age. She was shaped in that era: young, idealistic, ambitious. A skilled lawyer. For various reasons she early on became the favorite piñata of the RW hate-machine. But talk about persisting! Talk about being a unicorn... She was criticized for being too harsh, criticized for being too soft, attacked for being the wrong woman. But what a pioneer.

To have this many women all at once running for POTUS, and this many among the top 10 is amazing enough. But to hear them share their personal stories as women and not try to elide them as something generic to be non-threatening to a male audience just blew me away.




If I were to vote in a presidential
primary today, I would vote for:
Joe Biden
I absolutely loved the dollies story. Doreen Sep 2019 #1
I did too. It was a laugh-line in her story of overcoming and persistence, and yet... Hekate Sep 2019 #2
It is empowering for all of us women. Doreen Sep 2019 #3
Hillary's Need To Appear "Tough" in Foreign Policy DrFunkenstein Sep 2019 #4
I don't think of Pete as the 'gay candidate", at all. blm Sep 2019 #6
I sorta noticed but couldn't quite put my finger on what was different. You nailed it, Hekate! pnwmom Sep 2019 #5
K&R sheshe2 Sep 2019 #7
Hey, you're right! lunatica Sep 2019 #8
We've never had a president who has given birth! Now that I think about it, that's kinda weird... CTyankee Sep 2019 #9
They are human stories Leith Sep 2019 #10
Good point. There's so much more common ground and shared experiences now calimary Sep 2019 #11
Exactly. Women's lives are AMERICAN lives. We aren't some subspecies. SunSeeker Sep 2019 #12
Congratulations on your perception! You make a significant point...thanks for sharing! Karadeniz Sep 2019 #13
I didn't see that, but you're right! RainCaster Sep 2019 #14
Yes,Hekate, it's a sea change. W & K are proudly and unequivocabley women candidates. stuffmatters Sep 2019 #15
I think I'm going to send off for a She Persisted T-shirt from Warren's campaign, just because... Hekate Sep 2019 #16
Great point. I didn't notice. ecstatic Sep 2019 #17
It might depend on your age. Second-wave feminists were tough Athena-women succeeding ... Hekate Sep 2019 #18
Thank you for your detailed response! My mom hasn't really shared that ecstatic Sep 2019 #19
Latest Discussions»Retired Forums»Democratic Primaries»Women presidential candid...»Reply #18