Ask Auntie Pinko
April 25, 2002

Dear Auntie Pinko,

My eyeballs just about dropped out when George Bush called Ariel Sharon a "man of peace." He did it with a straight face, too. Since I doubt if he can understand any two-syllable words like "chutzpah," can you enlighten me about whether this represents cynically calculating Orwellian doublespeak, or is he really that obtuse?

Either way, I'm getting scared!

Sylvia,
Long Island, NY

Dear Sylvia,

Your question is one of dozens Auntie Pinko has received over the last year or so which have all asked, more or less "why is (insert name, usually Mr. Bush) so stupid?" Or a minor variation, which is "why are (Republicans/Right Wingers/etc.) so stupid?" Auntie Pinko has not responded to these questions before because a.) I never pretended to be an authority on Republicans, the GOP, Republican party positions, and the right wing agenda; and, b.) I have no special insight into what makes people stupid. I'm usually as baffled as everyone else is by evidence of total cerebral collapse.

But your example provokes a response because I must admit that Auntie Pinko's reaction was very similar to yours. My jaw certainly hit the floor. It gives one a whole new insight into Mr. Attila and Mr. Genghis, doesn't it? By this standard they, too, may have been misunderstood and sorely-provoked "men of peace," simply trying to ensure the survival of their peoples.

I don't know whether Mr. Bush does, or does not, understand a common cultural reference like "chutzpah." I must admit to a nagging doubt about whether he's ever read Mr. Orwell's masterpiece. So I don't think he would describe his whimsical reference to Mr. Sharon in terms of the sinister standards of the Oceanian government.

We must also remember that Mr. Bush is the man who described himself (also with a straight face) as a "man of compassion," even after laughing and joking with reporters while signing the death warrant of a prisoner who had pleaded for clemency.

Auntie Pinko really does try to find a possible positive interpretation to everything. Politics is a complex business, and I am well aware that it requires ideals to be tempered with pragmatism. Nor do I expect all my elected representatives to be infallible geniuses of saintly disposition and noble motives. I try to imagine being in their place, surrounded by the horrendous pressures they face and the multitude of competing interests they must balance, before criticizing.

In that spirit, Sylvia, I offer the following possible interpretations of Mr. Bush's astounding description:

1. Mr. Bush had another "slip of the tongue" and really meant to say "Mr. Sharon is not a man of peace."

2. Mr. Bush assumes that the American people never read newspapers, watch news on television, or surf the Internet for information, and they have no idea (and probably don't care) what's going on in the Middle East, so it doesn't matter what he says.

3. Mr. Bush vastly overestimates the number of Americans who believe Mr. Sharon's assertion that the absolute survival of every Israeli citizen is at stake, and agree that the worthy end of gaining their safety justifies even such horrendous means as Mr. Sharon is currently applying.

4. Mr. Bush believes that his audience shares Mr. Sharon's belief (and possibly Mr. Bush's own belief) that revenge for the vicious crimes of Palestinian "martyrs" is either politically necessary or morally admirable (or possibly both.)

5. Mr. Bush himself has no opinion on any of this but was simply saying what his advisors recommended him to say, and thought that the phrase "man of peace" sounded pretty good and might gain him some points as a statesman.

I'm sorry if this doesn't allay your fears any, Sylvia, but thank you for asking Auntie Pinko anyway!

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